


The Men behind the Mask

by Pacifiermouth



Series: Caregivers and Littles [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Age Regression/De-Aging, Ageplay, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Family, Baby Tony, Bathing/Washing, Bed-Wetting, Captain America: The First Avenger, Comfort, Corporal Punishment, Cribs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy!Steve, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Happy Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, IM2, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Infantilism, Little!Tony, Littles, Littles Are Known, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Pre-Avengers (2012), Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Steve Rogers, Samuel - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spanking, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wetting, alternate universe - littles are known, bottles, daddy!Phil, little!Clint, tantrums, thumb sucking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2019-12-30 21:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pacifiermouth/pseuds/Pacifiermouth
Summary: Tony is struggling to let himself be little...Steve is struggling to catch up with the future...





	1. Good Morning, or Should I Say Afternoon?

“Here comes the sun - Here comes the sun, and I say It's alright - Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter - Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here - Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's alright - Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces - Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here - Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right -  Sun, sun, sun, here it comes - Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.” -The Beatles

 

_He was breathing._

It was as though he were waking up from a long sleep, except he was acutely aware of his body, the press of the mattress against his shoulder blades, and the low murmur of voices.

Steve Rogers open his eyes only to quickly shut them closed an instant later. The light was so bright he could still see it burning through his eyelids. He slowly blinked them open again, squinting until they adjusted.   

He was in a hospital room the window open the sun shining on him. In the corner, a radio blared, the voice of a sports commentator describing a baseball game- a game that Steve recognized.

What happened? Where was he? The last thing he remembered was crashing Hydra’s plane into the ice, so how did he end up here?

Steve sat up quickly, his heart pounding in his chest. Something was not right. He glanced at the window his brow furrowing. Somewhere outside the window, a horn blared.

A nurse walked in and she too was off. Steve gave her a once over, noticing the odd way her hair sat, the foreign make of her shirt and the way she moved. She dressed in a similar fashion to Peggy, but somehow not quite hitting the mark. He could hear her heart beating a staccato nearly as loud as his own. She was nervous, but why?

“Where am I?” he asked, his voice surprisingly even.

She cleared her throat. “In a recovery room in New York City.” Her hands twitched as she spoke, clasped in front of her.

What was she hiding? Was she part of Hydra?

He listened to the radio recognizing the commentators' voice, he knew he recognized that game.

“Where am I really?” he asked a note of anger in voice. Her clothes were all wrong. It was like she was trying to look like the girls from the war office, but there was something so wrong, so out of place.

She looked panicked before quickly masking it with a confused smile. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“The game it’s from May nineteen forty-one. I know cause I was there.” Steve stood, squaring his shoulders - ready to fight.

“I’m going to ask you again, where am I?” He looked down at her. Her heart was beating so loud he was almost surprised she couldn’t hear it.

“Captain Rogers-”

“Who are you!” he demanded. The door burst open and men in black charged in, weird looking guns in their hands pointing at him.

He ran.

…………....

Tony walked off stage, a fake smile stretching across his face.

He slipped behind one of the many curtains and pulled out a small silver device. This was becoming a daily routine now, and every time the small spark of hope in him was dimmed.

Tony Stark placed his thumb on the small protruding needle and grimaced as it pricked him. His grimace turned to a scowl when he saw the number appear on the small screen.

BLOOD TOXICITY: 19%

He sighed as he sucked the cut on his finger, pretending not to feel the tears stinging his eyes. He needed to get a grip on himself, he was still in public. _It was just a dumb cut Stark, grow up._

His shoulders sagged his eyes trained on the ground. He was dying. He was dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

……………

Steve tried not to frown at the man in front of him.

“So, you’re telling me that Director Fury wants me to have a playdate?” Repeating the words only made him more confused. He pretended not to notice the stares and whispers of the agents around them. Clearly, the news that Captain America was alive was still turning heads.

It had been little over two weeks since he had woken up in the twenty-first century. After having what happened to him explained by Fury, S.H.E.I.L.D had left him alone, allowing him to try and get his life back. Until now.

The smaller man nodded, smoothing down his tie nervously. “That is correct,” he said, looking a little uncomfortable under the captains' scrutiny. He began to fidget with his cellular phone. Steve still had trouble understanding how that skinny little thing could be capable of anything, let alone a phone call.

His attention snapped back when the agent cleared his throat. “With a randomly selected Little that I don't know.” Steve monotoned.

“Yes.”

“I’m not quite sure-”

“Its standard procedure Captain Rogers, everyone does it nowadays. It’s either this or online matching.” the man explained before Steve could say no.

Steve inwardly rolled his eyes. That’s all he ever heard ‘everyone does it this way’ or ‘that’s how we work nowadays’ or ‘this is the future’. He felt nauseous at the mention of the internet. He would never choose a Little based off of a screen test. That was absurd.

There was a hollow ache in his chest, stubbornly making itself known every time he thought of his life before the ice. The way of life he had grown up with was no longer up to date. When he had first been classified the path to finding a Little was worlds apart from the way they did it nowadays…

_“Come on Stevie, I can’t wait any longer!” Bucky grumbled, pulling him along the back wall of the school away from any prying eyes._

_“You can’t wait any longer? I was under the impression that this wasn’t about you?” Steve gripped the letter tight in his fist, his heart pounding wildly. He was so excited to finally know for certain where his place in the world was._

_“Oh please, everything’s about me.” Bucky sassed, laughing at Steve's unimpressed eyebrow raise. Finally, Bucky seemed to deem the spot they were standing in good enough and he stopped. He motioned impatiently for Steve to open the now slightly crumpled envelope in his hands._

_“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, carefully tearing the paper and slipping the folded letter out. The two fifteen-year-old boys waited with bated breath._

_His hands shook slightly as he opened it, his eyes skidding along the thin black lines that would dictate the rest of his life._

**DEAR MR STEVE ROGERS,**

**THE OFFICIAL CLASSIFICATION OFFICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR CLASSIFICATION OF:**

**CAREGIVER - BEST SUITED FOR HEADSPACES 0-3 YEARS.**

_Steve stopped reading after that, the rest didn't matter._

_“Alright!” Bucky cheered clapping him on the back. “I knew you’d be one of us, Stevie.”_

_Steve gave his friend a small smile, the excitement from earlier morphing into shame and sadness so profound he had trouble breathing._

_Bucky’s smile vanished when he saw the look on Steve's face. “Steve?” He crowded closer to his friend, curling a protective arm around his frail shoulder._

_Steve shoved the letter into his pants pocket, turning away from his friend._

_“Buck-”_

_“Don’t. Steve stop it.”_

_“You don't even know what I’m going to say!” Steve snapped, whirling around and glaring at him._

_“Oh yes, I do. You’re going to start parroting what all those jerks in school have been saying. Stevie you know it’s not true, you’re going to make a swell caregiver and someday you’ll find a Little who won't care what you look like cause they’ll see what I see. A good person.”_

_“Bucky,” Steve sighed shaking his head sadly. Bucky would never understand. “I can barely survive a day of school, how could I ever hope to be healthy enough to take care of another human being?”_

_Bucky opened his mouth to reply, but Steve cut him off. “Not only that, but who’s going to walk into a Little’s meet and greet, see me, and think ‘gee I’d like him to be my Daddy’. No one Buck. People won’t want to set me up with a nice Little. If I’m lucky I’ll get someone who’s just as sick as me or worse.”_

_“I-”_

_“It’s fine Bucky there’s nothing to say, it's just my reality.”_

“Captain Rogers?” the agent asked, snapping Steve out of reverie.

Steve held in a sigh. It wasn't the agent’s fault he was being ordered around like a puppet on a string. Steve knew that when it came to Fury he didn't really have a choice. “Alright.”

………….

Steve mustered up a smiled for the Little in front of him. She had red curly hair pulled into two bunches at the top of her head and a purple tutu that nearly swallowed up her entire body.

This was his second playdate of the day. The first had ended prematurely when the Little boy Steve had been set up with had complained that Steve was ‘no fun’ and he was a ‘borin’ Daddy’. Was it Steve’s fault he couldn't figure out what this ‘youtube’ was? And why was the Little asking to watch it?

Steve had been whisked away before the Little boy could start tantruming. Now here he was, once again forced to sit with a Little who clearly wasn’t interested in him. Never mind the fact that Steve didn’t even _want_ a Little right now.

“Hey sweetheart, what’s your name?” he asked gently, kneeling down next to her. She was sat on the floor in one of the - apparently many- playrooms SHIELD had, playing with a bunch of dolls.

“Vicky,” she said eyeing him up and down. Her green eyes narrowed at him. “Who’re you?” she asked, scooting away from him a bit.

Steve sat down, trying to make himself as small as possible. “My name is Steve, is it okay if I play with you?”

Steve knew she would say yes. She was an agent at SHIELD, who also happened to be within his recommended age range. One of the many Steve had been practically forced to ‘play’ with. He had spent the last two weeks in and out of SHIELD headquarters, playing with a different Little every day, and everyday walking away feeling even more unfulfilled than before.

After Vicky begrudgingly said yes he picked up one of the dolls and jumped in surprise when it talked; this was going to be a long afternoon.

……….

Steve grunted as he punched the giant sand-filled bag in front of him. It was his fifth one within the hour. The past few weeks must have been some of his worst since waking up. Every single Little he had met with didn't like him. No matter how hard he had tried he hadn’t been good enough.

The bag flew backwards and then rushed toward him. He let it come back down and, just as it was about to hit his face, he swung a left hook and sent it soaring across the room, sand flying everywhere. Sighing, he went to pick up the now half full bag, groaning when the movement made more sand come pouring out onto the floor.

“What a day,” he muttered, grabbing the broom he kept in here for such occasions and beginning to sweep.

He had taken to spending unhealthy hours in the gym each night, sometimes going at it until the sun rose. Between the paralyzing nightmares he had when he actually slept, to the pent up aggression he felt from not being able to care for a Little, he was more than a little tense.

Society always focused on how much Littles needed to relax and go into headspace, but what they never seemed to remember was that caregivers needed to care for a Little just as much as a Little needed a caregiver. The relaxation and calm that came from simply changing and feeding a Little was an instant stress reliever for him. Steve had now gone more than seventy years without that stress reliever and he was starting to feel the strain.

He had tried desperately to put the war and his life before behind him. But in moments like these, where his guard was down and he no longer had a distraction, he couldn’t help but think about it.

He thought of Peggy and how devastated she had sounded as he brought the plane down, her pain filled voice crying out for him to not do it. He choked on a sob as he remembered the love in her eyes when she looked at him. Her laugh and smile always warming him up to his core. They would have been married, she had wanted a Little just as badly as he did. He would’ve had a _family._

He thought of Bucky screaming for him as he fell, his hand still outstretched for him because he had been counting on Steve to catch him. But Steve hadn’t. He had let him _fall…_ Bucky had always held Steve up and the one time he had leaned on Steve, Steve had let him go.

SHIELD had forced him to see a therapist. Not that she was much help either way. No matter how much she tried to get him to open up, every time he tried his throat closed up and his breath caught in his lungs. How could he put into words what he was feeling? Couldn’t they understand that he had lost _everything?_

Day and night memories plagued him, faces of people he loved swimming across his vision. Then utter despair would sweep through him, constantly knocking him off balance. And when he wasn’t desperately wishing to still be frozen? A rage he had never imagined himself capable of engulfed him. It made him want to tear and destroy anything in front of him. Sometimes punching a bag was all he could to keep himself from screaming. The anger at the world around him, the people who kept sticking their plastic noses into his life trying to ‘get him back out there’. How could they possibly understand?

A cracking noise jerked him out of his thoughts as the remains of the broom crumbling out of his hands. He opened his hand watching silently as the wood clattered to the floor the only sound in the room but for his harsh sobs.

And now here he was, by himself. Forever alone.

 


	2. Everybody Needs Somebody

“Wake up, Daddy’s home,” Tony said, grinning to himself at the silliness of his words. He snapped at the screens in front of him waking them up.

He whipped around at the sound of a blender going. Something wet landed on his shirt. He saw that U had yet again splattered the wall and counters in car oil smoothie.

“U!” he shouted. “I swear I will take you apart and make you into a toaster.” U lowered its claw in shame and Tony spun his chair back around grumbling, feeling bad for yelling.

“Just clean it up will you?” he asked more calmly, glancing back to see U nod its claw excitedly.

Tony held in a laugh and turned his attention back to JARVIS and the screen in front of him. He lifted up his shirt frowning at what he saw in the reflection of screen in front of him. His once smooth, tanned skin was now a spiderweb of veins spreading out from the arc reactor in odd angles and shapes, crawling towards his neck and heart. Every day they got worse. Breathing was physically painful and touching any part of his chest was pure agony.

He couldn’t help but make a face at the huge glass of dark liquid on his desk. “How much of this Yuckyness do I gotta drink?” Tony asked, grimacing as he tipped his head back to down another glass full of the dark liquid. He constantly had JARVIS running test after test on anything that could act as a replacement for the palladium core of the arc reactor, which was simultaneously saving him and killing him.

“We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms sir.” JARVIS replied.

Tony groaned as he, yet again, as some of it sloshed out and down his chin and onto his shirt. No matter how careful he was he somehow always managed to spill it on himself. “You may find it easier to consume if it were in a bottle, I can have Miss Potts-

“Nope. Shush. I don't need a bottle thank you. I’m perfectly capable of - damnit!” he swore as he spilt half of the drink down his front, soaking his shirt and pants.

“Sir Miss Potts is approaching I suggest you tell her-”

“Mute.”

Pepper walked into the workshop, her heels clicking menacingly on the cement floors. “Tony you can’t keep ignoring my emails. I need you to look over the applications, I cannot pick a new caregiver for _you_ without you!” She huffed, steam practically coming out of her ears as she talked. She was holding a clipboard, filled with said dreaded applications.

“Then don’t. I’m perfectly fine without one, it’s been weeks since Obie-“ he cut himself off, still not ready to say it out loud. “Anyway I’m still okay, I’m working and all that jazz, so just lay off.” He waved her away with a hand and grabbed for the nearest tool in his vicinity to prove his point.

He heard her mumble something that sounded like putting him in time out. “Anthony Edward Stark-“

“Oooh you’re middle naming me? This must be quite serious.” he mocked, giving her his best serious face.

Pepper rolled her eyes, the hand holding the clipboard turning white from its death grip.

“I need you to listen to me.”

“I am listening.”

“No you’re really not, you never listen!”

“So not true, I’m a wooooonderful listener,” he argued, drawing out the word wonderful just to annoy her.

“Oh yeah? What was the meeting with the board of directors about yesterday?” Pepper challenged.

“Er… well, it was about that thing with the- I’m the boss!” Tony threw down the screwdriver, his fingers tapping agitatedly on the desk.

She chuckled humourlessly, her expression thunderous. “And your point is?”

“I – wh- we-“ Tony growled, annoyed that she had bested him.

Pepper sighed, coming over to him and kneeling down to his level. “Please Tony? You need this, and I can’t help you if you don’t let me,”

“I just don’t see why I need a Daddy.” He mumbled, not quite meeting her eyes.

“Every Little needs a Daddy,” she replied gently.

A lump formed in his throat, “but...I’m takin’ care of myself just fine.”

“Sweetheart, I know about your nightmares, I know you’re having trouble taking care of yourself. It’s okay to need help, everyone needs help sometimes.’ she said kindly, placing a hand on his knee.

His eyes prickled he blinked forcefully refusing to cry. “I’m big Pep, I’m doing fine.”

“I know you are honey, but sometimes you’re not. It's okay please don’t cry Tony, being a little isn’t a bad thing.” Pepper soothed.

 

Tony just shook his head, crying too hard to say anything. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew the world was filled with Littles just like him, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never shake the feeling that he was useless because of his headspace. That his worth as a human being was lesser than those who were not.

“Tony look around at what you’ve created, everything you do is phenomenal. Not even Howard could call that a waste.” Pepper continued, glancing around the workshop filled with hundreds of his finished and unfinished projects.

“Come here, Come on.” She coaxed him out of his chair and into her lap, letting him curl up and placing a hand on his head, carding her fingers through his thick locks. “How are we going to fix this Tony?” she sighed.

But all Tony heard was how are we going to fix _you_?

Hours later, Tony skipped around the boxing ring, a smile spread across his face. He had pushed his conversation with Pepper into the back of his mind, not allowing himself dwell on it. She may be CEO but when it came to him she was wrong, he didn’t need anyone. He would be fine on his own. Boxing with Happy was one of his favourite things, even though he knew Happy always went easy on him.

“Come on old man!” he crowed, easily ducking a punch and kicking Happy in the shin, exploding in laughter at the yelp and little dance his friend did when he was hit.

“That’s it! I’m gonna get you!” Happy yelled, before tackling a still laughing Tony to ground and tickling him without mercy.

“No- hahaha – Ha-happeeeeeeeee, pl-please! No Tickles!” Tony begged breathlessly. He wiggled and squirmed peals of laughter echoing throughout the room.

He spotted Pepper walk in and screamed for her to help him. “P-pepper haha! Help m-me Happy’s ticklin’ meeeee.”

Pepper laughed at the scene in front of her, shaking her head fondly. “Tony come here please, I need you to sign something.” she crooked a finger at him. Tony scrambled up the second Happy loosened his grip, racing to Peppers side. Freedom!

His eyes turned to the doorway as someone entered. It was a woman. She had dark red hair and deep green eyes. She smiled when they made eye contact, causing Tony to blush.

She was really pretty.

“Tony this is Natalie Rushman, she’s here to finalize my becoming CEO of Stark Industries.” Pepper explained, signing the papers Natalie handed to her. “Sign here Tony.” she said, handing him a pen.

“Hello Mr Stark, it’s nice to meet you.” Natalie greeted him, her voice warm and soothing.

“Hi,” he said, suddenly shy, glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

Tony signed the papers, eyeing Natalie and deciding that he liked her.

 

……………..

Steve let himself into the SHIELD issued apartment, tossing the keys onto the little table by the door before kicking it shut. His arms were full of files and papers.

The small room was cramped and filled with only the barest necessities. There was a small bed pushed into the corner, perfectly made with army precision and barely big enough to fit him in it. There was a kitchenette with only one burner on the oven, which was constantly malfunctioning, and a wooden chair tucked into a rickety old table by the sad excuse for a window.

Everything in the room was either brown or grey, making him feel like he was in black and white photos from before the ice.

Steve set down the papers on the table and pulled out the chair. Fury had given him homework. Steve was supposed to get up to date with everything that had happened in the past seventy years, starting with the war and everyone he had known.

He picked up the first file and opened it. A lump formed in his throat as the face of Peggy Carter looked up at him.

“I wish I could get drunk,” he whispered, his fingers gently rubbing over the black and white photo.

“Oh Peg, why did they ever unfreeze me? They should’ve left me in the water.”

  



	3. All Work and No Play

He was being kept in one of the many, _many_ offices at SHIELD headquarters. Fury had called him in saying he was to meet one of the level seven agents. She was going to help him get up to speed with the twenty-first century.

Steve sighed as he stood up from the tiny metal chair he had managed to cram himself into and walked over to the window. The building overlooked the city, with its cars and lights flashing constantly.

Everything seemed to move so fast now, and he was constantly breathless, trying desperately to keep up.

It had been a few weeks since he had been unfrozen, and still he felt like he was back on the dumb ride on Coney Island, being rocked and bombarded with too much stimuli.

The door opened behind him and Steve turned around as Fury walked in, already wishing himself back in his small apartment. At least there he could be alone.

“Captain Rogers, meet Agent Romanov she’ll be your...guide for the time being.”

A red haired woman walked in behind Fury, an amused smile playing on her lips as a deep blush formed on his cheeks. She was clad in a _tight_ black leather suit.

“Captain.” she greeted.

“Ma’am.” Steve nodded his head at her in reply.

Fury exited the room, leaving just the two of them.

“Er-” Steve started, unsure of what to do next.

“I was thinking we could start with the basics.” she interrupted, walking further into the room. Steve watched as she pulled out a cellular phone from somewhere on her person.

Steve pulled out his own. An agent had taught him how to receive and send emails and charge it, but that was about it. He had tried to figure it out by himself, but all of the colourful little boxes were confusing and his fingers felt big and clumsy.

They sat down at the table in the room, Steve squirming slightly in the small chair. He could already feel a headache coming on.

Three and a half hours later and Steve felt like he was finally getting the hang of the newest Starkphone, created by Anthony Stark - Howard’s _son._ As if the world wasn't crazy enough. Natasha, as he had learned her name was, was an excellent teacher. She reminded him of Peggy in a heart breaking way. She was strong and stubborn and didn’t let anyone boss her around.

“Okay pop quiz, you had those back in the dark ages right?” she teased, handing him her phone. Steve let out an indulgent sigh.

“Yes we did, I’m not that old.” He took the phone from her outstretched hand and began to follow her short instructions, like a soldier following the orders of a drill sergeant.

……………

“Alright, Tony come on, food’s here.” Pepper called for the second time, her voice carrying through to the living room where Tony was sitting.

Tony was not Little right now, but he also wasn’t Big either. Pepper had finally cajoled him to come out of the workshop a few hours ago. She had promised to spend the rest of the day with him, no work involved, if he let himself relax and be Little. But no matter how hard he had tried he couldn't quite fall into his headspace. The problem was Pepper wasn’t his Mommy, she wasn't even a caregiver, so her being there only agitated him more. He tried everything he could think of, a bottle, hugging Samuel and even playing cars with DUM-E and Butterfingers. He finally stopped, tears of frustration rising to his eyes. He knew that this sometimes happened to Littles who weren’t Little as often as their bodies needed them to be. They got headspace constipation where, unless they had their caregiver with them to help them settle, they wouldn't be able to age down. Which Tony thought was just stupid because if he couldn't age down properly then he would get sick so really this wasn't his fault at all.

He was currently curled up on the couch with a StarkPad, playing one of the many games JARVIS had downloaded for him. He was attempting to destroying the space monkey’s pirate ship to save the earth, when Pepper called for him again.

“I’m coming!” he yelled back, not making a move to get up. This inbetween state left him unbalanced. He wanted to be coddled and taken care of, and at the same time he didn't need any help and he could do it all himself thank you very much.

After a fourth prompting from a now pissy Pepper, Tony stood up from the couch leaving the StarkPad. He was getting bored of it anyway and _not_ because he had been losing. Grumbling, he dragged his feet to the kitchen and plopped himself down in one of the chairs around the table, giving Pepper the stink eye as she neared him with a bib in hand.

“So help me if you think I’m wearing that...” he warned, glaring at the offending item. It was bright purple, covered in butterflies. Not only was it a bib, but it was a _girls_ bib. Ew.

Pepper only rolled her eyes, opening her mouth the reply, but was interrupted by JARVIS.

“Agent Coulson is requesting to come in.” he announced, just as the man himself rapped on the glass door.

“Agent!” Tony called, his face splitting into a grin. Agent Coulson had been coming over periodically since the incident with Obie. He claimed it was to keep Tony in check, but Tony suspected it was because he liked playing with him just as much as Tony liked playing with Agent.

“Let him in JARVIS. There will be no playing until you’ve eaten.” She told Tony, holding out the bib. A staring match ensued, neither of them looking away as Coulson entered. Finally Tony gave in, knowing Pepper would make him wear it either way.

“We don’t play Pep, we chill.”

He felt his face heat up as she fastened it around his neck, extremely aware of Coulson’s gaze on him. Agent was a Caregiver, he had a little boy named Clint. However, Clint was a big boy and he didn’t wear stupid bibs. At least that was Tony assumed, he had never met Clint.

He pondered the need for bibs as he shoveled food in his mouth, unaware of the conversation going on around him.

“How’s he doing?”

“Not as bad as he could be, but definitely not good either.” Pepper sighed, eyeing the Tony.

Phil sighed smoothing his hands down his suit jacket. “Maybe if I brought Clint-”

“Phil, I don't even know how SHIELD found out but letting anyone else know is not an option even a fellow little.”

“I am aware of the situation Miss Potts however-”

“Don't you ‘Miss Potts’ me he listens to me about as well as he listens to Jarvis!”

“That is true Agent Coulson,” Jarvis agreed quietly.

“Pepper he cannot continue like this, he’ll break.”

“You think I don’t know that?!” she snapped, waking Tony out of his reverie.

He whined quietly at the harsh voices and they both turned at the noise. Large brown eyes met their own, filled with fear.

“I know I’m messing everything up. I can’t force myself down anymore and now everyone is mad at me ” he said, fidgeting with his spoon.

Phil spoke first, coming closer and sitting down next to him. “We’re not angry, but we are worried about you. Can you tell me why you won’t let anyone take care of you?” he asked gently.

“Look, I may be a b-baby but I’m not helpless, besides I’ve got J.”

“Always, Sir” the AI replied warmly.

Phil eyed him for a moment. “Yes I see how a robot with no physical body is really helpful when taking care of a baby.” Phil smirked at the blush spreading across Tony’s cheeks.

“Tony we only want what’s best for you,” Pepper cut in sitting down at the table.

Tony looked away from them fidgeting under the weight of their gazes. “That’s what they all say” he whispered getting up from the table.

“I’m done eating, Pep,” he called as the elevator doors closed behind him.

  



	4. Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Seventy years, three months, two weeks, five hours and twelve minutes. However, for Steve 1940 felt like it had been last week.

The couch beneath him sank under his weight, cheap leather creaking unpleasantly as he shifted. Fury had allowed him a short break from forced playdates, giving Steve the solitude he really didn't need. He hated searching for a Little, but at least he got to be around other people. Without them he had no purpose leaving his apartment. He could only buy eggs and bread so many times a week after all. Steve also hated walking around his new neighbourhood. He felt like an alien, what with everything looking so new and sleek and _different._ It seemed that his way of life wasn't good enough anymore. _He_ wasn't good enough anymore.

Steve flicked on the television. The news channel came on, showing a young-ish looking man with mischievous eyes smirking as he spoke into a microphone.

 _“_ _I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution depending on what state you’re in..”_

Steve barked out a laugh. So this was the infamous Tony Stark. He could see the resemblance to Howard, but Tony had something about him that made Steve want to know more. His eyes were a chocolate brown, sparkling with mirth as he sat alone in front of half of America’s government making them look like utter fools.

Within his first week out of the ice, Steve had been hearing all about Stark Jr. and his escapades. The thought of Howard’s son being all grown up, Howard _having_ a son, made his stomach twist unpleasantly. It forced him to remember how much he had missed.

____________________________

Tony reached for a screwdriver next to him, barely breathing as he tightened one of the screws on Butterfingers circuit board. If he messed this up…. He grinned to himself when the little red bulb began flashing on the board, letting him know it was working again. Tony reattached it to Butterfingers, giving the robot a high five it when had rebooted.

He wasn't looking where he was going when he stepped away, and he ended up stepping on one of his wheeled boards. Tony’s feet slipped out from under him, sending him crashing to the floor where his head smashed into the hard concrete of his workshop.

He lay still for a second before he felt the earth-shattering pain in his head and back. He felt like he couldn't breathe as unbidden tears came rushing to his eyes and spilling down his cheeks.

Butterfingers wheeled over to him beeping sadly and rubbing his head for him. Tony only cried harder. “I wan’ Rhodey!” He cried loudly hoping, Jarvis would help him. “I-its hurts-s,”

“I am sorry Young Sir, Colonel Rhodes is not answering,”

Tony curled into a ball on the floor his back cracking painfully as he moved. “I just wan’ someone to help me.” he sobbed quietly into his fingers.

______________________________

“I just want someone to help me understand why-”

“Captain Rogers I have already explained-”

“Actually you didn’t. No one did. No one bothers to explain anything anymore you all just shove a screen into my face and walk away!” Steve bit out.

The young agent looked a little guilty as he backed away from him. “I understand your frustration Captain...”

“Do you?” Steve sighed, at the end of his rope. “I just want to get my license renewed so I can ride my motorcycle, why is that a level three security breach?” he asked, trying to keep his irritation under control.

“Well..th-the thing is it’s still a secret that you’re a…”

“Defrosted?” Steve offered.

“Yes, and SHIELD would like to keep it that way.”

“So I’ll wear a disguise.”

“With all due respect Captain, a baseball hat is not a disguise.”

_____________________________

Pepper Potts smoothed down her suit as another one of the candidates left the cafe, after another disastrous interview. Each one was worse than the next. These people were not even aware of who the Little was yet, and still, they all acted like selfish pricks. First, SHIELD had made her interview a few of their agents, but she was smarter than to let them spy on Tony while he was Little. The rest of the applicants who came in were either too dumb to keep up with Tony or too full of themselves to actually be caring for him.

She sighed. This was going to take a long time.

______________________________

“I only have one left until my collection is complete and then I am going to ask him to sign them. He’ll sign them right?”

Clint Barton chuckled at his caregiver’s nervous antics. “I’m sure he’ll sign ‘em, I mean the guys known for being like a saint or whatever.”

Phil grinned at him, leading him out of the SHIELD building for some downtime together. He had even bought a new board game for them to play while Clint was Little.

 


	5. Surprise M*ther f**ker

Tony pulled off his designer sunglasses as he stepped into the Hotel de Paris. He, Happy, and Pepper were in Monaco to watch his company car in a race.  

The hotel was decorated in blues and golds giving the place a very elegant, but comfortable vibe. Tony looked around, enjoying the view until he spotted something that ruined the scenery like a ketchup stain on a white shirt.  

Justin Hammer was here. And worse he had spotted Tony.

“Anthony!” Tony groaned aloud, barely stopping himself from rolling his eyes as he turned to face the man. Pepper glared at him and then smiled her fake smile at Hammer.

“My least favourite person on earth!” Tony says as Hammer tries to give him a side hug. Hammers smile melts off his face as he turns to fully face tony.

“You really think you’re the king of the castle don’t you?” he chuckles to himself, giving Tony a fake sympathetic look.

“Well seeing as I am..”

“Funny cause last I checked Stark industries took a huge hit from your ‘superhero’ stunt,” Hammer said putting quotes around the word superhero and making a face.

“That ‘stint’ has saved countless lives-!”

“Just because you’re Howards son doesn’t mean you’re worth anything Stark” Hammer lowered his voice as he spoke clearly not wanting to attract attention from the crowded room.

Tony also lowered his voice, “sure means a hell of a lot more than being a tool,”

“You’re calling me the tool? At least I can take care of myself,” Hammer snapped.

Tony blinked in confusion, what?

Hammer finally got his hug and brought his lips to Tony's ear, “That's right _baby,_ I know your _little_ secret,” and he walked away with a small wave.

Tony stood his chest feeling like there was no air left to breathe.

How did Hammer find out? And more importantly who was he going to tell?

Tony pushed his way through the room desperately looking for a bathroom to lock himself in.

He shoved open the door and locked it behind him, sliding down to the floor. His head was spinning and he felt like he was going to be sick.

He would lose the company and the suit. They would lock him out of his lab and take away everything he loved.

His pocket beeped. It was JARVIS reminding him to check his blood toxicity. Tony quickly pricked himself. His breath caught when the machine finished calculating he was at 53% toxicity…..he was dying faster and faster and now Hammer knew his worst secret.  

  



	6. What A Nightmare

The plane was shooting downward, the cold, white sheet below him growing closer and closer. He had about a minute left before he hit the ice.

“Just be there…” Peggy’s voice broke through the scratchy radio speakers.

His voice cracked as he tried to answer her. He was terrified.

The plane hit the ice with a sickening jolt. His body was thrown forwards along with his chair and he smashed into the bulletproof glass. Before he could try to right himself the plane lurched and began to sink. Water rushed into the smashed cockpit. The second it touched his skin he knew he wouldn't be able to swim to his freedom. His feet and legs were already numb, his head spinning from the force of the crash. The plane was flooded and he was trapped.

The water was rising above his chest now. He took his last few breaths, struggling to try and move. His lower half had frozen over completely. The cold was everywhere, seeping into his soul and squeezing his heart.

He was going to die alone in the ice.

He was fully under the water now. He closed his eyes and felt his eyelashes instantly freeze together. His lungs were burning, his chest clawing for air. The fight left his body, his muscles going limp.

It was over.

 

Steve screamed as he fell out of his bed. He was trembling all over, his skin damp and cold.

He stumbled to his feet. Despite knowing that he was safe in his home in New York he could still feel the water creeping up on him. He went into the tiny washroom in his apartment and braced himself against the sink, looking up into the mirror.

His hair was matted to his sweaty forehead, his skin was pale, his eyes wide and wild looking.

He’d had the same nightmare every single night since waking up from his coma. Sometimes it changed and he watched Bucky plunge to his death. Sometimes it was both.

Steve pressed his face against the cool mirror and closed his eyes, wondering why he was here at all.

___________________

Rhodey came into the workshop while Tony was going through everything he could find on Vanko. He and JARVIS had been down here for hours searching for anything that might tell Tony how the man had gotten his tech. They’d been down there so long he felt like he had become a part of the convertable he sat in.

“They’re going to take your suits, Tony…. Are you even listening to me?”

Tony turned to look at his oldest friend. He knew what Rhodey would see.

His face was bruised up the right side from his fight with Vanko and his neck was covered in veins. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and his lips were slightly swollen from how hard he had been biting them to stop from reaching for a pacifier.

“Oh Tony,” Rhodey said softly taking in his appearance. He helped Tony get out of the car, catching him when Tony's knees gave out.

They hobbled to his desk and Rhodey helped him replace the core in the arc reactor. Wincing at the smoking chip inside, he gave Tony a disbelieving side glance. But before he could put his shirt back down Rhodey forced his hand back up.

“How long had you had the high tech crossword on your chest?” He asked him quietly.

“Its nothing, just leave it-”

“Stop lying to me.” Rhodey interrupted angrily.

Tony shrank from his friend. He hated when people were angry with him. “I’m s-sorry.”

“I don't want you to say sorry, I want you to tell me what this is!” Rhodey gestured to Tony’s still visible chest.

If Rhodey found out about the poison he would tell Pepper, who would only freak out… He couldn't let that happen, he needed to fix it by himself. He just needed more time. Tony steeled himself and shoved Rhodey away. He really didn't need him finding out about the arc reactor, he was already mad enough about the suits. “I said it was nothing.” he snapped back.

Rhodey nostrils flared as they glared at each other. “Fine. Whatever, keep pretending to be invincible, _iron man._ ” He sneered before leaving, slamming the workshop door behind him.

______________________

“Tony Tony Tony, when will you learn m’boy? The only thing you’re good for is weapons…”

Tony sat up, his heart beating wildly fast. He had been dreaming about Obie again.

He thought about all that had happened this past week, Vanko, the government’s accusations, his talk with Rhodey.

He knew Rhodey was right, that he shouldn’t keep everything to himself, but everyone was always too busy for him. And when he finally got to be with them he never wanted to ruin that precious time with his problems.

He needed to fix this. He needed to figure out how to keep the suit and how to keep the tech safe and how to stop dying.

And he needed to do it soon. He was running out of time.

_____________

Steve smoothed down his hair one last time before knocking on the door. He was going to meet Phil’s Little today - Clint.

The apartment door opened silently. Natasha stood on the threshold, smirking at him as she took in his pristine hair and clothes.

“Nervous Soldier?” she teased, letting him in. Phil was away on a mission for SHIELD and Nat usually took care of Clint when Phil couldn't.

He chuckled a little awkwardly as he entered the room. There were toys scattered about the room. Steve had just taken off his jacket when a voice hollered from a closed door down the hall.

“Aunty Nat! I’m done!”

Smiling indulgently, she rolled her eyes. “I’ll be right back.”

Steve sat down on the couch, the only piece of furniture not covered in toys and books. He rubbed his hands up and down his pants a few times trying to calm himself down. He didn't know why he was so nervous to meet Clint. He had met tons of Littles before… but he knew that this time it mattered if Clint liked him because Steve was friends with Nat and Phil and he would be over at their place a lot.

The pitter patter of running feet stopped short when Clint saw Steve.

Clint had sandy blonde hair and big blue eyes. He looked shy, his eyes flicking down and anywhere but at Steve.

“Clint, you remember I was telling you about my friend Steve?” Natasha said coming to sit down next to him, pulling Clint with her. She settled onto the couch with him tucked into her side, though he hid his face in her neck.

The little boy nodded, peeking at Steve before ducking down again at Steve’s gentle smile.

“Hi Clint, Nat’s told me so much about you.”

Clint remained firmly at Natasha’s side, but he finally looked up his curiosity winning over his shyness.

“Daddy says you’re really old, but you don’t look old,” Clint muttered, eyeing Steve.

Steve felt his heart flutter a little. He pushed aside any thoughts of cold darkness and smiled. “Yup I’m actually in my nineties, but it’s a secret, okay?” he waggled his eyebrows a bit.

Clint laughed and nodded enthusiastically, happy to be in on a big adult secret.

“I got lots a toys wanna see?” Clint asked, completely over his shyness.

“Even more than all this?” Steve teased, getting down to sit with Clint on the carpeted floor.

Clint pulled out a huge tub of lego and action figures, giving Steve one and demanding he help build a spaceship.

Steve found that playing with Clint wasn't as awful as it had been with the other Littles at SHIELD. Clint was energetic and creative, constantly adding new rules and levels to their complicated space rangers game.

“Nat, you don’t care about the planet of yublone?!” Steve teasingly chastened when she declined to sit and play with them.

“I think you two boys can handle the mission all by yourselves.” she flipped to the next page in her book, winking at Steve.

“I’m thirsty,” Clint announced suddenly, dropping his toys and standing up. Steve stood as well, following him to the kitchen. Clint opened the fridge and pulled out a katniss sippy cup, filled with juice and began to drink it down with fervour.

Steve felt his heart squeeze at the sight. Clint was so independent, he could practically take care of himself. He didn't really need him.

“Daddy told me you used to beat bad guys and that you know how ta’ fly planes just like me!” Clint said dropping the now empty cup onto the counter.

“He is right, although I don’t really do that kind of stuff anymore…”

“Why not? Daddy said you’re a hero and that you always save the day.” Clint said looking at Steve funny.

“I uh… I’m not really needed anymore I guess, the bad guys are all behind screens now.”

Clint didn't respond to that, already thinking about what he was going to build out of lego next.

Steve held in a sigh and followed the little boy back to the living room.

 

Hours later, Steve waved goodbye and gently closed the door behind him.

He had enjoyed spending an afternoon hanging out with Clint, but it hadn't helped relieve the constant itch under his skin. Clint was just too big. He didn't need to be held or read to, and he certainly didn't need to be coddled like Steve felt the need to do. He felt more aware than ever just how alone he was.

  



	7. Waving Through A Window

“Pepper!” Tony yelled when the screens glitched yet again, now showing online pamphlets for different Little adoption agencies, instead of his blueprints.

“J, come on man, I thought you were on my side,” Tony whined, waving his hands to dismiss the holograms.

“I am always on your side Sir.”

Pepper looked up from the work she was doing on the workshop couch and raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “If you had looked at them when I told you to JARVIS wouldn’t have to take my side.”

“Well if you had listened when I spoke then we wouldn't need to be having this conversation.” he snapped.

“Tony, you don’t have a choice anymore! You dismissed all the caregivers I found and you refuse to interview any yourself. I am at my wits end Tony!”

“So just leave me alone! I am fine on my own."

“You are the furthest thing from fine! JARVIS told me you don’t sleep or eat normally anymore, and you’ve had more wet sheets than nights this week!”

Tonys cheeks flamed, “I - uh - well that’s just-!”

“Tony we only do this because we care about you. You’re killing yourself,” she said gently, getting up to come to him.

“I’m going to die either way, might as well let me live my life how I want to live it,” Tony mumbled under his breath.

  



	8. Its Raining Its Pouring

Rain pounded down like bullets as Tony Stark walked along the empty sidewalk. He had been in the workshop for days, fiddling aimlessly until he had become stir crazy. The fresh air was supposed to clear his head, though at the moment there seemed to be more water than air outside. Grumbling, Tony stared at the concrete as he walked, trying to keep the drops out of his eyes. 

 

The wind whipped his hair into his face. The rain hadn't let up for days, but Steve had desperately needed to get out of his apartment. He yanked his coat collar up, trying in vain to protect his face. 

 

Not paying attention to where he was going, Steve knocked into someone coming from the opposite direction. The other man stumbled and cursed softly as he righted himself. 

“Nice job twinkletoes.” The man grunted, scraping the mud off his clearly expensive looking shoes. 

“It takes two people to collide.” Steve snapped, no longer feeling sorry. 

Mr. Money Shoes glanced up at him, glaring. 

The brown eyes looked familiar. Had he seen this man before?  

“Hey, wait aren’t you-”

“Nope. Bye.” The man suddenly straightened in a rush and pushed past Steve, nearly running in his haste to get away. 

Steve stared after him for a long moment, then kept on walking. The longer he walked to more he was certain that the stranger could not have been the Tony Stark. Surely the guy had enough money for a cab on a day like today. 

  
  



	9. Another Core Depleted

_“Sir I’m going to have to ask you to exit the doughnut.”_

Tony took another bite of his vanilla glaze, eyeing the man on the ground below him. He sighed as he flew down, chucking the rest of the doughnuts in the bin on his way back into the store. 

Tony had not seen Fury since he’d moved into the tower when Fury had dropped by ‘to make sure he got the address right’ aka to check up on him.

Tony stared at him from behind his sunglasses. His head was pounding in his skull. Not going to sleep was the least of the bad decisions he had made last night. Now his head was killing and his eyes were constantly burning. 

“I told you I don’t want to join your supersecret boyband.” he ground out.

“No, I remember you do everything yourself. How’s that working out for you?” Tony knew Fury was talking about more than just the suit. He was hinting to the fact that Tony refused to get a caregiver. 

He felt his heart beat faster when his assistant Natalie came strutting in, wrapped in her own leather get up. It took him all of five seconds for Tony to understand that he had been played. Natalie wasn’t just some girl sent from LEGAL, she was a member of S.H.E.I.L.D. and had clearly been spying on him this entire time. Natalie had been spying on _him_. Memories flashed before his eyes, her kindness, how she always seemed to know something he didn't... He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to storm away from her, from both of them really. But mostly just wanted to lay down and sleep forever. 

He should have known she was too nice, too warm, too friendly. No one ever really liked him accept Pepper and Rhodey. He should have seen this coming. Some genius he was. 

“I suggest you apologise,” he said, his voice more steady than he felt. 

She smirked, sliding into the seat next to Fury. 

He wanted to hit her. Hard. With a chair. 

Fury yelled at him while he stewed in anger. Blah blah "not my problem Stark", blah blah "centre of my universe"… did the man ever stop talking? 

Fury finally fell silent. Tony snapped back to reality to find them both looking at him. 

“What?” Tony snapped, feeling a little unnerved at both of their undivided attention. 

“Tony,” Fury started in a much softer voice than before, “You know that aside from the fact that you’re a pain in my ass, I still am a caregiver and you’re still a Little. I can’t sit back and watch you kill yourself. I damn well _won’t_ sit back.” 

“Look, Nick…. can I call you Nick? I’ve been doing my best, that’s all anyone can ask for right?” He gave them his award-winning smile. 

“Wrong.” Fury gave him a one-eyed look. “I know you’re sick Tony. Hit him would you?” he said to Natalie, or rather _Natasha_. Before Tony could ask what he was talking about, Romanoff hit him with a needle. Stabbing pain echoed through him before his body blissfully relaxed for the first time in months. 

“Wh-what was that? And can I get a couple more?” Tony asked his words slurring. The burning he had felt in his chest and lungs was gone, his limbs felt loose and light. 

“Lithium dioxide. It’s going to take the edge for a while, but it’s not a cure.” 

Tony felt his headspace begin to creep in, the edges of his brain going fuzzy. He was pain-free for the first time in a long time and he was ready to enjoy it. However, he knew he couldn't let himself give in just yet, not when Fury looked like he still had something to say. 

“You need to get back to work, we may have a clue for what can save you…” 

…………………….

The glowing of the new core was the light of a miracle. Tony carefully slipped it into the arc reactor letting JARVIS run all the tests he had set up just for this moment. 

Turns out Howard hadn't totally hated him after all. Still, Tony knew that he was far from being his 'greatest creation' as his father had claimed. The man had spent Tony’s entire childhood telling him how disappointed he was in him, and those words could not just be erased. 

While Tony waited for the testing to finish he went over to his hidden cabinet and unlocked it. Pulling out the bin of Little items he had, he rummaged around it until he found what he had been looking for. His baby blanket. He had been meaning to move this ever since Obie had died. Tony knew it wouldn't stop his nightmares, but the blanket would go a long way in helping him sleep more in general. 

He quickly went up the stairs taking them two at a time. He didn’t bring up his Captain America pacifier because that would be a dead giveaway to anyone snooping. The blanket he could explain as a sentimental keepsake or something. Finally reaching his bedroom, Tony pushed open the door and sat down on the bed. Reaching under the pillow he felt around until his hand landed on a stuffed animal. He pulled out Samuel the monkey and hugged it tightly. Samuel had been with him through everything and Tony wanted to share the moment with him. Giving him and his blanket one last squeeze Tony shoved both of them back under the pillow and headed back down to the workshop. 

As Tony came back inside he caught the news on the TV and knew he needed to get to the expo _now_. Vanko was still loose, and Tony needed to stop him.

He shoved the new reactor into his chest. It began to glow brightly, and a metallic tang filled his mouth. He breathed deeply and felt his heart soar at how it easy it was. He wasn’t going to die tomorrow. He wasn't even going to die the next day. He was going to live. 

…………

**WAR IN EUROPE! CLOUDS OF DARKNESS PRESSING IN FROM THE EAST AND THE WEST. AMERICA HEEDS THE CALL FOR FREEDOM. AND AT THE FRONT OF THE HEIST, SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH OUR BATTLING BOYS IS CAPTAIN AMERICA!**

**A PRODUCT OF OLD FASHION VIEWS AND EXCITING NEW SCIENCE! CAPTAIN AMERICAS THE NAME EVERY NAZI FEARS!**

**UNCLE HITLER'S SECRET WEAPONS ARE NO MATCH FOR OUR MAN!**

**WHEN TOUGH TIMES TURN TOUGHER, WITH OUR HOPES ON THE ROPES HERE’S THE MAN TO STOP THEIR ACCESS TO THE AXIS!**

**HE’S THERE FOR THE LAND THAT WE LOVE AND HE WON'T STOP-**

Steve shut off the film. The words were zooming around in his head. This is all that he had left it seemed. A silly video made to get more war bonds. 

His life, his friends, his family were all gone. Just like it said in the folder he was holding. He pulled out the small cluster of papers. There was a page dedicated to each of the Howling Commandos, and under each picture of his once closest friends was the word DECEASED in angry red letters. 

He flipped through to the very bottom of the stack, and there she was. He was almost afraid to look hoping that he wouldn't see those awful letters there as well. 

AGENT MARGARET CARTER: (PEGGY)

RETIRED. 

He stared down at the paper praying to anyone who would listen that it wasn't a mistake. 

Towards the bottom of the page, it had a telephone number for where she could be reached. He looked from it to the new telephone that SHIELD had installed without a cord. What if she didn’t answer? What if she was somehow angry with him? What if she hated him? What if she had forgotten about him? He didn’t know if he would be able to handle that. 

He shook his head as he put her paper back into the pile. He couldn't do it. The next name behind hers was Howard Stark. DECEASED. Steve didn’t find he was so heartbroken at that. The guy had constantly tormented him about Peggy and had always flirted with her whenever Steve was around just to bother him. The last page in the folder was one,

ANTHONY STARK: (TONY)

ADVISOR 

There was a picture of a robot underneath. Apparently, he was considered to be something of a hero. Hopefully, he was nothing like his father. 

Steve slammed the folder shut, shoving it away from him. He needed to get outside. Grabbing his leather jacket, he jogged down the stairs of his building and burst through the front door, right into the heart of Manhattan Island. 

Walking down the street didn't help him feel better in the slightest. Everywhere he looked there were booths and stores set up to sell different types of high tech gadgets. Even the car shops looked different, with fancy screens everywhere and floating words on the walls. 

He kept walking further and further until he spotted a cafe with an outdoor sitting area. He snagged a chair and sat down. Steve pulled out one of the pens he always carried and began to doodle on a napkin in front of him. 

He sketched out the tall glass building sitting on the other side of the cafe. The modernness of it dampened his enthusiasm. Is this what was considered beautiful architecture nowadays? 

“Waiting on the big guy?” A voice asked from above him. He looked up to see a blonde waitress smiling at him. 

“Ma’am?” he asked confused. Who?

“Iron man. A lot of people wait here just to see him fly by.” 

Steve squinted up at the building...did she mean Stark? “Right... Maybe another time,” he said pulling out some bills. 

“The tables yours as long as you like, nobody's waiting on it.” she wiped it down a bit as she spoke. “Plus we’ve got free wireless.” The waitress smiled again at him as she began walking away. 

“Radio?” Steve asked. Did they charge for that to nowadays? The girl turned her head and laughed, as though he had made a joke. If only she knew how much he wished that were true.

……………..

Steve's shirt clung to him and he could hear his heart pounding as he forced his legs to keep moving. He had been running for nearly four hours now and had no intention to stop anytime soon. Steve used his shirt to wipe at his face a bit, not liking the feeling of sweat dripping down his temple. 

He had gotten into the habit of pushing his body to the absolute limit every day when working out, finding that it made him so tired that his nightmares were far less frequent. On some rare nights, his sleep was nightmare free. The only drawback was that he felt like he was dying some days with the amount he did to tire his enhanced body. 

Steve had once been known as the guy who said ‘I can do this all day’  yet now he couldn't imagine enduring this life another hour. He had been going to see Phil and Clint nearly twice a week. It helped with the caregivers itch a little, but not enough to really make it go away. He wanted a baby of his own, someone to coddle and spoil and hold. He wanted to be someone’s entire world, the way Phil was to Clint. He wanted to be missed when he was gone. 

He wanted.

  



	10. I've Heard So Much About You

Watching Justin Hammer being shoved into a police car was most definitely Pepper’s highlight of the week, if not the month. The man was practically foaming at the mouth he was so angry, shouting about revenge, that he wasn’t finished. She rolled her eyes at his pathetic threats. He was an even bigger drama queen than Tony. 

Tony stood quietly next to her, the suit standing guard behind them. He watched with weary eyes as Hammer was taken away after having been responsible for destroying the Stark Expo, nearly killing hundreds of people. He deserved to rot in prison. 

He and Pepper began walking back to the car, the suit following them.

“Are you alright? You’re very quiet.” Pepper asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just never thought that Hammer was that...crazy to break a criminal out of prison just to try and best me. I should have.” 

Pepper stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder, making him face her. “Wait a minute. Tony you cannot blame yourself for Hammer's actions.” 

"No, of course, I don't." Tony scoffed, although he most certainly did. "But Iron Man is supposed to protect people, not put them in harm's way."

“You can’t always be the one to shoulder all the responsibility, Tony." Pepper began.

“Hey boss, Hammer all locked up?” Happy asked as he pulled up next to them. 

“Yeah, we won’t be seeing him for a while,” Tony smirked.

“Thank God” Pepper muttered under her breath. 

……………..

The Avengers. That’s what they would be called. 

They would be his new team. Random people, others had selected. People he would need to trust and have them trust him in return.  New Team. New people. New. 

Not friends. 

Not family. 

Not the Howling Commandos. 

He pushed down the overwhelming wave of sadness he felt at the thought of his old team. They had all been brothers to one another. But they were gone.

Steve opened the folder for nearly the hundredth time, flipping through the printed photos inside along with a profile of each member of the Avengers Initiative. They even had ridiculous names, just like the Commandos' had. 

Then there was the fact that this whole mission was to obtain the same HYDRA weapon that had led to his time in the ice. Fury had debriefed him on the situation as well, letting him know that this Loki character, an Asgardian -because the world wasn't strange enough already- had taken Clint as a sort of hostage. The thought of Loki using Clint, whom Steve had grown to love, as his personal bodyguard pissed him off. He could only imagine how Phil must be taking it. The knowledge that his Little was being held captive must be ripping the guy apart. 

He'd brought the HYDRA plane down so that crap like this wouldn't come up ever again. He gave up his everything, and now the Tesseract and all that it entailed had come back to bite him. 

……………..

“The soldier;” Loki chuckled. “The man out of time.” 

“I’m not the one who’s out of time.” Steve smirked as he flung the shield at Loki, causing the Asgardian to dive out of the way. 

The people around them began to scream and run. 

He punched Loki square in the jaw, liking the satisfying crack it gave beneath his fist. Loki swings his sceptre at Steve bashing his side and nearly impaling him in the ribs.  

“Why do you fight Captain? What do you have to prove?” Loki mocked, trying to stab him. 

Steve didn't answer, focusing on taking the guy down. 

“I’ve been told you don’t have a Little." Loki taunted. "That must be hard for America’s great hero. Not even a little baby wants you.” 

Steves jaw clenched, his eyes flashing angrily. Loki didn’t know _anything_. 

Loki chuckled as he and Steve fight, “I see I’ve touched a nerve.” Steve rammed his shield into his stomach, knocking him over and sending his sceptre skidding across the ground. 

“Seems I have to.” he retorted. 

He could hear the engine of the quinjet coming nearer. Good. It was about time Natasha showed up. 

“Loki, drop the weapon and stand down,” Nat ordered over the loudspeaker for everyone to hear. Before Loki could react, loud, angry music blared through the night. 

Suddenly a red robot in the shape of a man came flying towards them. Iron man, Steve realized with dread. Tony Stark. Iron man shot Loki with a white flash from his hands, sending him careening through the air. 

He landed. “Make your move, Reindeer Games,” Stark said in a robotic voice, pointing little rockets at Loki from his suit. 

Loki put his hands up in surrender, his horned helmet disappearing along with the sceptre.

Steve came to stand beside Tony, his shield at the ready. He stood himself up to his full height, a sudden nervousness coming over him. “Mr. Stark.” he greeted tensely. 

“Captain.” the suit nodded at him. 

Getting Loki on the plane was easy enough, with Stark's constant threat of a missile attack. Steve found his attention constantly flitting back to the man as Stark talked and talked. His eyes shone as he spoke, clearly trying to impress Steve with what he was saying. Most of it went right over Steve’s head. 

The suit brought the man up to his own height. He had curly brown hair and intense brown eyes. Just like his father. Steve hoped that that’s where the similarities ended. Howard was not the best of men...

He kept cracking jokes that Steve didn't understand and making references to things he had clearly missed. It annoyed Steve to no end. 

“You might have missed a few things doing time as a capsicle.” Stark smirked. 

Steve frowned. He hated it when people just brought up the ice as if were no big deal. “Fury didn’t tell me you were coming in,” he said, making it clear he didn't want him here. 

Tony Stark was just as arrogant and conceited as everyone said. Like father like son, Steve thought, just holding back a snort. Clearly, time didn't change anything. 

…………………..

Tony flew out of the quinjet, half of his mind on finding the man who had flown in and taken Loki, and the other on the captain. What a jerk. Seriously, how did that guy ever become a legend?

Captain America clearly had something shoved up him somewhere. He hadn't cracked a smile once for any of Tony's, frankly hilarious jokes. 

Howard had always told him how kind and good-natured Captain America was. The man with a plan. Well, this man looked like all he planned to do was deck Tony in the face. That was also what Howard had told him, that if Tony had ever met the captain he would hate him. Jarvis had always told him that that wasn’t true and that Captain America would see how smart and creative Tony was. But clearly, Howard knew better. 

Tony scanned the treetops looking for any sign of them. He knew he wasn’t only hunting the cube, he was also hunting down Phil’s Little. Tony had never met Clint, but the look on Phil's face when he had explained what had happened had been enough to convince Tony they needed to find him. _Now._  

Tony’s emotions were wrung out. He was worried about Clint and scared of what Loki might do to him. The captain should really be the least of his worries and yet Tony couldn’t let it go. He tried to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just keyed up from his fight with Loki. Or maybe he had a thing about flying after his crash. Captain America was Tony’s childhood hero, not to mention that when he was in headspace he was still in awe of the guy. He didn’t want to let go of all of his hero worship because of a bad first impression. Tony decided to give him another chance to hopefully be as amazing and nice as he had always dreamed Captain America would be. 

……………….

Tony had spent hours upon hours reading all of the material that Fury had sent over. He was more than prepared for the meeting with everyone. He knew the Captain would be there and Tony planned on showing off just a little. Hopefully then Rogers would see how smart he was and actually maybe like him. 

Phil met him at the entrance to the deck, guiding him towards the meeting area. Tony and Phil chatted about Phil’s girlfriend in Portland, both of them trying not to bring up Clint. Tony offered to fly him there for a weekend, but Phil kept refusing, saying that he needed to be here for work and to keep an eye on Tony. 

It gave him a warm feeling in his stomach when Phil said that, even if he knew Phil wouldn’t be up for ‘hanging out’ anytime soon with Clint still gone. Tony still didn't have a caregiver or even a clue of who would even be up for it. He knew that the longer he pushed it off the worse he would get. Although playing with Phil and Rhodey helped, it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t let himself completely go down, even with his oldest friend. Rhodey just wasn’t his Daddy. No one was. 

His thoughts were interrupted when heard Banner asking why Iridium was needed and decided it was show time. 

 “It's a stabilizing agent,” Tony answered strutting into the room. Phil went to go sit with others while Tony headed for the other part of the deck. All eyes turned to him. 

He kept talking as he walked towards the main screens Fury used. He needed to plant his bug so that JARVIS could break in. That was another reason for the performance he was giving. It was a distraction to keep the SHIELD agents from noticing what he was doing.

He knew he had gone a bit too far with the showing off, when Captain America interrupted him, his face telling Tony that he was not amused. 

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?” 

Tony was a little surprised that he had been able to follow what he was saying. The guy was smarter than he let on. 

Tony switched gears. The fact that Dr. Banner was here hadn’t been lost on him and he was more than eager to start working with the scientist. And also obviously the Hulk, ‘cause who doesn’t love that guy?!

Seriously, the captain wasn’t impressed by how much Tony knew with only a night to prepare, and then expected everyone to applaud him for knowing a silly reference? The Captain met Tony's eye for a second as if trying to gauge his reaction. Tony kept his face carefully blank. He wasn’t going to let the man off that easy. 

Tony turned to the doctor. “Shall we play?”  

  



	11. Fight Club

As Tony and Dr. Banner worked alongside each other in the lab Tony’s thoughts began to wonder.

Clearly showing off wasn’t working on the big guy, so what would it get for him to like Tony? What if Howard had been right all along? What if Captain America saw how worthless he was? 

Tony mentally shook himself, that was crazy the guy was known for being a hero and heroes didn't hate people for no reason. Unless he had seen everything on the internet about Tony. Was that why he hated Tony? Because of all the false rumours, Obie spread to make sure nobody would suspect him being Little? Of coarse Rogers didn't know that they were false, but still, to hate him before he even met him is a jerk move. 

Tony’s other problem at the moment, was that he was constantly in between headspaces. He was no longer able to stay one hundred percent big at this point. Which led to him being snarkier than usual and quicker to show emotion. He had only really realized how differently he acted when Rogers was around. It was like that guy just brought up all of these unwarranted feelings in him. 

Well if Rogers was going to be a jerk then Tony would too, two could play at that game and Tony was the absolute king of pissing people off. 

Tony turned to Banner, the guy was so calm. How could he be the Hulk? Tony decided this needed a little investigation, just a tiny poke. He picked up a mini electric prod, and poked the doctor to see if he would turn into the Hulk; 

“Hey! Are you nuts?” Great, the Captain was here. 

………………..

Steve had stayed sitting at the table as everyone dispersed. He knew he had been to harsh on Stark earlier, but all the talk of the scepter had brought back horrible memories of HYDRA and what their weapons achieved. He just wished they could throw it in the ocean and be done with it. But life wasn't that simple anymore. 

The anger he was feeling wasn’t really Starks fault he knew that. It was the fact that he was being forced to fight a battle he thought he had already won. Not to mention the fact that he still had that intense Caregivers Itch and nothing was making it better. 

He stood up a little while later intending to go and apologize to Stark. However, when he walked into the lab he caught him prodding the doctor with something sharp. Was the guy suicidal or something? Everyone knew that the Hulk could destroy this entire ship in a heartbeat. 

“Hey! Are you nuts?” He called as he came closer angry that Stark could be so stupid and selfish. Stark ignored him continuing to talk to Banner. The guy really knew how to get on Steve's nerves. 

Talking to Stark was like talking to an ruly child. He was all over the place, and now he was accusing Fury and SHIELD of hiding something. Steve wasn’t sure whether or not to believe Stark and Banner, especially Stark. 

“I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war, and if don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them.” He turned that last part on Stark wanting to get it through the guy's skull that he should stop messing around and do his job. 

“Following’s not really my style,” Stark replied shoving a few blueberries into his mouth. 

Steve felt his jaw tick, this guy was a new level of arrogant. “And you're all about style, aren't you?” he said watching as the mirth drained from Stark's eyes. 

Starks body went rigid, his eyes turning angry. “Of the people in this room, which one is; A. wearing a spangly outfit, and B. not of use?” 

His blood boiled. He may not be needed as much as he used to be but he wasn’t  _ useless _ . Stark was a such an arrogant jerk and he didn't care who he hurt in the process as long as he got his way. He needed to get out of there before he hit something preferably Stark. 

……………….

“That’s the guy my Dad never shut up about? I’m wondering if maybe they should’ve kept him on ice.” Tony grumbled continuing to write a new algorithm to help find the cube. Tony knew he was somewhat to blame for the guys attitude. He had been trying to actively piss him off but seriously Mr. wholesome and pure could learn to lay off a bit. That guy had a serious pride thing. 

……………….

Tony and Banner were watching as JARVIS uncoded all of SHIELDS files word for word as Fury walked in. 

“What are you doing, Mr. Stark?”

“Uh...kind of been wondering the same thing about you,” Tony said eyeing all of the data popping up on his holographic screen. What was SHIELD hiding? 

Nick gave Tony his ‘stop being an unruly kid look’. “You're supposed to be locating the tesseract.” 

Before Tony could reply, Banner cut in, “we are. The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile.” They smirk at each other knowing that they had Nick cornered. At least for the moment. 

“And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss.” Tonys attention turned back to his monitor as larger files began to pop up labelled SECRET FILES: PHASE 2. Honestly who named secret files, secret? 

“What is phase 2?” Tony asks.

Suddenly, Captain dipwad is back, and he drops a HYDRA assault rifle on the table with a loud clang. He looks even more pissed than usual.

“Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons,” Rogers said glaring at Fury and Tony as if Tony was the one to build it. 

“Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Tony held in the urge to roll his eyes, the guy couldn't hold himself back, could he. Who knew the great Captain America was so full of himself? 

Fury walks towards Rogers as he begins to explain, “Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're-”

The files began to open, clearly showing what a lie that was, “I'm sorry, Nick.” Tony said moving the computer screen towards Fury which shows plans of the weapons. “What were you lying?” Tony’s heart twisted. He had actually started trusting the man, only to find out he had been lying to him and using him. It seemed for once that he and the captain agreed.

 “I was wrong, director. The world hasn't changed a bit.” Rogers said giving Fury what Tony dubbed as his ‘the Great Captain America is disappointed in you look.’

At that moment, Thor and Natasha walk into the lab. Thor looking as confused as ever and Natasha was eyeing Banner as if he was about to explode, which according to his tone he was.

“Did you know about this?” He asked directing his question at Romanoff who ignored him.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?”

Tony could have sworn Bruce’s skin was starting to tinge green. Banner chuckled, “I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.”

She was coming closer, “Loki’s manipulating you.”

“And you've been doing what exactly?” he took a step away from her towards the screen that had started it all. 

“You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you.”

“Yes, and I’m not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I’d like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.” Banner said rendering everyone quiet. All eyes turned to Fury each waiting for the answer that would somehow make this all okay. 

Fury's arm shot out pointing to Thor as he said, “because of him.”  

Tony frowned. Thor? Seriously the guy was like a lost puppy how could he warrant such drastic measures? Well, a lost puppy with a mean swing...

“Me?” Thor to looked a little shocked. 

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that levelled a small town.” Tony had heard about that. But he didn't see how that equated to weapons of mass destruction. He eyed Rogers the guy still looked pissed, so maybe he agreed with Tony? That this still wasn’t okay? “We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly-hilariously, out-gunned.”

Thor looked almost hurt, “My people want nothing but peace with your planet!” 

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you?” Nick said turning to him, “and you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Nick said now looking at Tony, did he think Tony would ever side with him? Not a chance in hell. 

“Like you controlled the cube?” Rogers said, angrily. Tony knew that the whole reason he was standing here today was because he gave up his entire life to get rid of this exact cube. 

“You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of War.” said Thor. 

“A higher form?!” Rogers sounded a little nervous. 

Now Fury was getting mad. “You forced our hand! We had to come up with some-”

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.” Tony interrupted. What a load of crap. SHIELD was supposed to be the good guy, going along with the whole innocent ‘till proven guilty idea. Now they were ready to fire without so much as a witness. 

Fury turned on him, “remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?” 

Tony got angry, Fury knew how much Tony hated his past and especially the part where innocent people had suffered. 

Rogers stepped up, “I’m sure if he still made weapons Stark would be neck-deep-”  

Since when did Tony ask Captain Idiot for his opinion “Wait, wait. Hold on. How is this now about me?” 

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?” Rogers sassed, glaring at him. 

“I thought humans were more evolved than this,” Thor said talking to the room at large. 

It was like something exploded in the air everyone seemed to begin shouting at once. 

“Excuse me, do we come to your planet and blow stuff up?” Fury yelled at Thor. 

“T’is your champion.” 

“YOU’RE NOT MY CHAMPION!” 

“Are you boys really that naive? SHIELD monitors potential threats” Natasha said clearly on Fury's side which just pissed Tony off even more, he had shared a cheeseburger with her! 

Tony turned to Thor and Steve, “You guys furious? I’m furious.” 

Banner looked at Natasha like she had two heads, “you’re telling me that Captain America is on the threat poll?” He said gesturing to the man standing there in literally red, white and blue. 

“We all are!” she snapped, looking at each of them angrily. At the same time, Nick yelled, “That’s not your concern Doctor!” 

His eyes caught the sceptre still sitting so innocently on the table, the gem looked like it was glowing, it was almost as if it was alive and pulsing with the angry energy in the room. 

Tony turned back to Rogers forgetting about the sceptre, “You’re on that list?” he smiled, “Are you above or below angry bees?” 

Rogers looked furious, his eyes flashing angrily as he got up in Tony’s personal space, “Stark, so help me God, if you make one more wisecrack…” he growled at him, towering above him. Tony’s heart began to beat rapidly the guy clearly wasn't finding him funny. He looked like he was about to take a swing at him. 

“You’re a threat! VERBAL THREAT. I FEEL THREATENED!” Tony yelled trying to put some distance in between them. 

“SHOW SOME RESPECT!” Rogers yelled back at him. 

Tony saw red, this piece of shit was telling him to show some respect?! How about the fact that he has been treating him like the dirt on his boot ever since they met! “RESPECT FOR WHAT!” Tony yells giving him a blatant once over even as the rest of the room seems to fade away around.  “An overgrown ape in a pair of tights?”

Steve’s face flushes, pink crawling across the arches of his cheeks as his jaw clenches so hard Tony can see the way the muscles spasm in protest.

He’s hurt him.

Good.

They were cut off by Banner yelling at Thor, “Yeah manhandle me now, that’ll be good!” he shoved the blond off his arm. 

………………

Steve clenched his fists tightly and took a step away from Stark. The man knew no bounds. He had no respect for anything except himself. Stark had no idea what Steve was going through the pain he was constantly in from losing everything and on top of it not having a Little to help him deal with it all. 

“You speak of control, yet you court chaos!” Steve had to agree with Thor. How could SHIELD be supportive of such an awful thing? 

Banner spoke, “It’s his MO, isn’t it? I mean, what are we, a team?” Banner chuckled softly, clearly thinking the opposite. “No, no, no. We’re a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We’re- we’re a time bomb.” 

“You need to step away.” Fury said coming closer to Banner and sceptre. The man was looking a little green around the edges. 

“Why shouldn’t the guy let off a little steam?” Stark asked casually as he put his hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

He knew his anger was a little out of control but he couldn’t contain himself today. The crackling blue rage swept through him. The audacity of Stark was astounding. He shoved his hand off, “You know damn well why! Back off!” 

Stark's eyes were filled with rage. “Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me.” He stepped closer. 

 Steve wanted to laugh, Stark thought he could take him? He began to circle the smaller man, enjoying the way he shrunk in on himself a little. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?”  _ Nothing.  _ He wanted to say. 

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” Always so quick with a reply, wasn’t he.               

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you.” He snarled. “I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself.” Stark's eyes were filled with emotion. Good, let the machine feel something for once.“You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He knew that would hit him hard. No one liked to have their faults shoved at them. The anger he was feeling was coursing through him making want to do things he would never allow himself to do. It was like the anger wasn’t his own, he was just a vessel for it and it needed to be let out. 

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

Steve laughed softly, “always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.” If Steve didn’t know better he would say Stark looked like he was about to cry. 

When Stark spoke his voice was rougher like his throat had a lump in it. “A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a  _ bottle _ .” 

“You’re  _ nothing _ without that suit,” Rogers growled. “You’re a disgrace to the Stark name.” He took vicious satisfaction in the glassiness of Stark's eyes, the way he physically flinched back at his words. 

………………….

“Put on the suit let's go a few rounds.” Rogers spat, his face inches from Tony's. They stared each other down, neither willing to back off first. 

Tony knew what he had said had been cruel. His heart was beating fast, his blood pumping with the anger behind the words. The anger flowed through him making him want to show Rogers just how well he could take him in the suit.           

“You people are so petty and tiny,” Thor interrupted. And just like that, the anger that had been bubbling inside him was gone.  Why had he been so angry in the first place? He rubbed his forehead. Everything felt a little fuzzy, but not like he was going into headspace kind of fuzzy almost ...blue. 

Banner scoffed, “Yeah, this is a team.” 

Fury sighed, “Agent Romanoff would you escort Dr. banner back to his-”

Banner gave a sarcastic grin. “Where? You rented my room.” 

Fury put up his hands placatingly. “The cell was just-” 

The doctor cut him off angrily, “In case you needed to kill me but you can’t, I know, I tried!” He paused for a beat. Tony stared at him in silent horror. His heart crumpling for the man. He knew exactly how that felt to see no way out. 

“I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth  _ and the other guy spit it out _ **.** So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this  _ freak show _ and put everyone here at risk **.** You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?” 

The doctor picked up the scepter his knuckles turning white. Fury and Natasha both reached for their guns. 

Captain Rogers took a step forward nearly blocking Tony, “Dr. Banner, put down the sceptre.” He ordered the man calmly. 

Banner looked down at his hands, his eyes widening. Just then one of the machines beeped loudly. “Sorry kids. You don’t get to see my party trick after all.” He placed the scepter back on the table and walked over to the machine set on locating the cube. It had found a nearly hundred percent match. 

“You’ve located the Tesseract?” Thor asked, stepping closer. 

Rogers also stepped forward. “Look, all of us-”

Thor interrupted him. “The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, no human is a match for it.”

Tony ignored them and turned to leave, “I can get there faster.” Rogers grabbed his arm. 

“You’re not going alone!” Tony smacked his hand away. Who was he to tell him what to do?!

“You gonna stop me?” Tony sneered. This guy was worse than Pepper. 

 “Put on the suit, let’s find out!”

 Tony got right up in his face, “I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Put on the suit.” He ordered his teeth clenched. 

Tony was to busy holding himself back from punching the guy when he heard Banner yell. “Oh My God!” 

And then the world exploded. 

  
  



	12. Why Does Anyone Do Anything?

Tony was blasted off his feet from the explosion that tore through the lab floor. He slammed his eyes shut, bracing his body for the impact against the ground. 

It never came.

 Strong arms wrap around him protecting him from the fire. He’s tucked close to a broad chest and folded into a shielding embrace, a large hand cradling the back of his head and neck protectively.

Tony barely even felt it when they hit the floor.

Steve had taken impact for him.

For a moment they both lay still, Tony's cradled against the broad expanse of Steve’s chest, his arms still wrapped around him.  

Then the moment passed, and they rolled apart.

Behind them, there came another bout of flame. The red emergency lights begin to flash, and the fire siren begins to wail.

They stare at each other, and a glimmer of recognition seemed to appear in Steve's eyes.

Rogers suddenly let him go and moved away. "Put on the suit,” he said urgently. 

“Yep,” Tony replied, scrambling off the floor and running for the door with Rogers on his heels. 

Racing through the halls with Captain America behind him was a little surreal. Tony dodged agents as he went, all of them panicking, trying to keep the airship from going down. Two of the wings had been taken out and the ship was beginning to fall out of the sky. Fury was barking out orders in his earpiece. 

They came to a dimly lit hallway filled with debris from the impact. 

"Meet me at engine three," Tony called over his shoulder. Steve nodded and peeled away. Tony entered the room where his suit was stored. He pressed a button on his phone and panels in the wall slid away to reveal his armour. He booted up JARVIS into his earpiece and put it on. The familiar safety of the suit calmed his racing heart. This was just a regular repair job, he could do this in his sleep. Everything would be fine soon. He opened the doors leading outside of the aircraft and zoomed towards the engine. 

Tony circled around the helicarrier wing. Seeing Rogers waiting for him he tried to push thoughts of their fight into the back of his head. He didn't have time to dwell on the fact that Captain America not only hated him but wished that he didn’t exist. He didn’t have the time to pick apart the fight word for word and think of all the things he should have said. The things he shouldn’t have said. He couldn’t think of the rage and utter loathing he had seen in Roger's eyes as they yelled at each other. The utter repulsion at having to be near him. He didn't have the time. The despair he felt curling around his heart would need to wait. He couldn’t break down when people's lives depended on him. 

Coming up the engine he could see this wasn’t going to be the easiest fix. The bomb that had gone off had shredded the outer wall of the helicarrier melting together multiple walls of defence. Some of it had gotten jammed into the engine. He began to laser away what he could. 

He began to blast his way through the walls, using the repulsers and whatever little rockets he could spare. He could hear the Captain shooting at someone from his earpiece. A flash of worry passed through him. What if they hurt him? 

Tony found his thoughts torn. He had idolized the man for thirty-odd years and yes he had been a douche to him but he was still  _ Captain America. _

“Alright there spangles?” he asked into the earpiece, ready to fly back and assist if need be. 

“Just peachy!” came the answer followed by rapid gunfire.

Tony rolled his eyes and kept to his wall blasting. If the man could sass back he was fine. 

…………….

Shooting at moving targets wasn’t exactly hard for Steve. It was watching his footing so he didn't plunge to his death, shooting moving targets that were determinedly shooting back, and trying to listen for Starks signal that was a little hard. 

He aimed for the legs and arms, never the chest or head. He didn’t want to kill these agents. He knew they were under some kind of spell of Loki's, and they weren’t thinking for themselves. 

Stark had asked if he was okay. 

Why would Stark ask if he was okay? 

Why would Stark care? 

Steve thought of their fight as he fired away at the agents. It had been more than a fight, it had been a war, but only with words. Did he really hate Stark? He wanted to hurt him the way he was hurting inside. To see the man on his knees crying out in pain. But why?

He could still feel the remnants of phantom anger swimming through him. The anger he had felt had not been natural. He knew that now that he was out of the thick of it. 

What had caused that level of anger in him, and not just him but the entire team? He and Stark had not been the only ones shouting at each other. Did Loki’s sceptre have that kind of ability? That would explain the insane amount of rage in the room. Steve knew in his heart that if the sceptre was the cause he had some serious apologizing to do. He didn’t necessarily like Stark, but he didn’t want to beat the man down with words either. Not that Stark hadn’t given as good as he got. 

Steve went over the argument in his head, picking apart the words and analysing them. Stark clearly had a self- esteem issue. He looked like he had been cut open when Steve had said he was nothing. How could a man like that possibly believe he was nothing? He had everything he could ever want at his fingertips. 

Steve took down another agent. He was starting to worry about running out of ammo. 

His father must have been over the moon to have a son like Stark. Steve imagined that Howard must have spent Stark's entire childhood filling his head with stories of how great he would make the Stark name. He must know he would make his old man proud. 

The man was wicked smart too. Just like his father. Steve tried to separate them in his head. He knew it wasn’t fair to judge a man based on his father's actions. Look at his own father. The man was an abusive alcoholic, always yelling and hurting his mother. If Steve was compared to him he would have never been allowed to join Project Rebirth. 

His father's failures had made Steve want to be better. A better man. A better father. If he ever got a Little that was. 

The agents were slowing down, clearly running out of backup. He shot down another as he took a step back to get better aim. His feet began to slip, and he fell over the side. His thoughts had distracted him so much he had not noticed the edge right behind him. Steve reached out frantically, just managing to grab onto a broken wire to hold onto. He grunted with the effort to keep himself up, the wind whipping his body backwards. 

“Cap hit the lever,” Stark said in his ear, sounding out of breath. 

His muscles strained as he desperately tries to pull himself up.“I need a minute here!”

His fingers brush against the side of the ship. Pulling himself just a little more, he grabbed on and hauled himself up, crawling his way to the lever. 

“Lever, now!” Steve was not two feet away when a bullet whizzed past him. Crouching, he reached for the lever and yanked it, just as Stark yelled. “Cap!”

He looked up to see the agent coming closer, still shooting. He glanced around for some sort of cover, but there was none. Suddenly Stark flew in, ramming into the agent and pinning him down in one fell swoop. 

Steve panted as he felt the tension leave his body. It was done for now. 

Not three minutes after, when Steve was making his way to Stark to see if he was alright, his com crackled, “Agent Coulson is down.” Steves’ heart skipped a beat.  _ Phil. _

……………….

_ Phil.  _

That couldn’t be right. They must have checked him wrong. Agent was fine. He had to be. 

Tony was frozen where he stood, helmet off with Rogers standing somewhere above him. The medics had called it already. They said he was dead. Phil Coulson. _ Dead.  _

His body was numb. He couldn't feel anything but the shattering of his heart. They had been friends. Phil was the closest thing he had to a Daddy. Phil  _ was _ a Daddy. A Little needed their Daddy and Phil was still needed. So clearly, he couldn’t be dead. He was needed. Tony needed him. He took a shuddering breath, blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay. He couldn’t cry in public. He knew that would be the last straw to send him sinking into headspace. His body was trembling in the suit, cold sweat sliding down his temple. He needed to get out of here. 

Tony turned and began to walk towards the room where he kept the suit. He was going to find Fury and make Fury tell him why he was lying. Because he had to be lying. 

Because Phil Coulson was not dead. He couldn’t be dead. 

Tony refused to believe that he was gone. That he failed so badly, and somehow Phil had been the collateral damage. It couldn’t be Phil, who only ever showed his cards when they were his collectors set. Not the man - no Daddy- who had come to Tony with a file in hand and a plea to help save his Little. 

Not that Coulson. 

Not Tony’s Phil. 

Please. 

 


	13. I'm Keeping You in Sight

Steve was called in for a meeting with Fury and Stark within the hour. He doubted Coulson’s body was even cold yet. Steve shoved the thought away, his throat constricting tightly. 

He was still standing where Stark had left him. He couldn’t bear to move, foolishly hoping that if he didn’t leave this spot someone would come back online and say it was a false call- that his first real friend in the twenty-first century wasn’t dead. 

Steve moved painfully slowly as he climbed down the ladder to the main floor. He felt like he was going to shake apart, only his body wasn’t shaking. His pulse wasn’t even racing. Perks of being perfect. Much good that had done him when he failed his friend. _ Again.  _

No matter what he did, he was never there to catch them when they fell.

He still wasn't strong enough or fast enough. He still wasn't enough. 

Phil had been killed and Steve hadn’t been there to help him. He hadn’t been there to protect him. He hadn’t been there. Always too slow for a fast-paced world. 

Walking through the halls, he felt hollow, like everything was very far away. One step then another. Phil Coulson was dead. Clint was still being mind-controlled, his team hated each other, and there was only Steve, who didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t the man with the plan. 

He slipped into the room they had for him and stripped off his uniform, the uniform Coulson had designed. He couldn’t stand to wear it right now. Steve shoved it into the ragged gym bag he had, leaving only his blue under-suit on. No sense having protective armour on. Not now. Not when everything inside was already broken. 

……………..

As he entered the main room, Stark was already there, nearly vibrating in his seat. Or maybe he was trembling, Steve couldn't tell the difference with his mind so numb. 

Phil Coulson was dead. 

Fury walked in, more solemn than Steve had ever seen him. He was holding something in his hands fiddling with it. Hill was there too, standing silently a few feet behind Fury like a shadow. 

“These were in Phil Coulson’s jacket.” Fury tossed something onto the table. They were cards. With Steve all over them. “Guess he never did get you to sign them.” 

Steve picked one up, his own face staring back at him. There was blood on the cards. Blood that had been spilled by Loki. 

Fury began speaking again, “We’re dead in the air up here. Our communications, location of the cube, Banner, Thor. I got nothing for you. Lost my one good eye. Think I had that coming…”

Steve was barely paying attention, his mind occupied with bigger problems. What would they do about Clint? Who would take care of him? Natasha wasn’t a caregiver. What if they made Steve do it? How could Steve ever hope to live up to Phil Coulson? 

“Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number, though, because I was playing something even riskier." Fury went on. "There was an idea, Stark knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea, in heroes.” Steves heart lurched. 

    Stark suddenly stood up. He hadn’t made a sound the entire meeting, yet his silence now screamed at Steve. The man looked like he was falling apart at the seams, as he walked out. 

“Well, it’s an old fashioned notion.” Steve turned back to Fury who was staring at him. 

  * “Maybe a little too old fashioned,” Steve replied, gazing after Stark. 



The look in Stark's eyes sparked something in Steve. Stark looked just as upset about Phil as he was. It made his own self-pity and depression wobble, clearing his thoughts the tiniest bit. 

Stark was shaken about Coulson but not like he had lost an acquaintance like he had lost a friend. Steve pushed his chair back. Maybe the two of them had something in common. Maybe Stark could use some company. Maybe they could help each other. 

Fury stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Go easy on him.” He eyed him and then walked away, already talking to Hill about something else. 

Steve watched Fury and Hill. Why would he need to go easy on Stark? What was Fury talking about? 

……………….

It didn’t take him long to find Stark. He was standing at the edge of where the glass room had once been, hands clutching at the railing. Behind him was a dent in the wall covered in dried blood. 

Steve silently walked into the room, noting Starks flinch when he stood on one of the other railings edges. He leaned against the railing facing Stark. 

“Did you know him well?” he asked quietly. 

Stark didn’t answer, still staring into the room, seeing nothing. 

Steve didn’t know what had come over himself. The longer he looked at Stark the more he wanted to comfort the man. He wanted to make him smile. Steve watched him as he spoke, “I knew him well. I knew that he liked one spoon of milk in his coffee. I knew that he preferred to play board games over cards games.” 

He heard Stark take a shuddering breath his lashes fluttering as he blinked rapidly. “Well, I know that he was a stupid man.” Stark bit out, his voice hoarse. 

“Why? For believing?” At least someone had. 

“For taking on Loki alone.” 

“He was doing his job,” he said, watching wearily as Stark turned around and walked down the short steps halting in front of the bloodstain. 

“That wasn’t his job...it was mine.” the man whispered. Steve pushed off from the railing coming to stand next to Stark. 

“If you go that route than it was actually mine. I’m supposed to be the leader,” he said equally as soft. 

They stood in sad silence. 

“I’m so mad at him,” Stark whispered. “He should have waited.” 

“He did what he thought was best-”

“Well that sure didn't work out for him, did it?!” Stark yelled, his eyes red. 

Steve stared. Tony was shaking, his eyes were filled with unshed tears and his lips were slightly swollen from having been bitten so much. Clearly, he blamed himself just as Steve did. Watching him, Steve started to realize that it really wasn’t his fault nor was it Starks, Phil was a grown man and he had made his choice. 

Looking at him, Steve knew what Stark was really trying to say. 

“You did your best. That’s all anyone can ask of you Tony,” He carefully stepped closer. For the first time since waking up, he didn’t feel like he was out of place. He knew that right here was where he belonged, helping. 

Tony stared at him with wide eyes, a single tears slipping down his cheek. Steve raised a hand to squeeze his shoulder when Tony flinched back, a hoarse ‘no’ torn from his throat. His hand paused mid-air, unsure of what had just happened. 

Tony avoided his gaze as he took a step away and then another until his back hit the wall and he slid down it pulling his knees to his chest. His shoulders shook as he cried. 

Steve was at a loss. The man he had heard all about was not known for showing any sign of weakness death or not. Steve knew that he should probably walk out and leave the man to cry in peace, but something stopped him. 

“Tony…” he crouched down beside him, careful to keep his distance this time. Stark kept mumbling to himself and when he concentrated Steve could just make out the words…”not enough…never good, bad bad bad….”

For a second he thought that maybe this was one of Loki’s tricks, but what could the demigod possibly gain from this? For at least a minute, Steve just stood there and stared dumbly at Stark. His mind was in overdrive. There could be no way this was a trick. No matter who he was pulling one over on, Tony Stark would never, ever, allow anyone to see him cry, least of all Steve. It was like watching the Iron Man mask finally come off, to reveal a sad, broken man just like himself. 

……………….

Phil was dead and it was Tony’s fault. 

All his fault. 

Bad Tony. Bad. Bad. Bad. 

The tears kept coming, and he stopped caring. So what if Captain America saw him cry? He didn’t think Tony was worth anything anyway. Worthless and bad. Obie had also told him that. 

It was also kind of Tony’s fault that Obie was dead. It was his fault Yin Sen was dead. And now Phil. Steve was right he wasn’t a hero. 

He was never going to be good enough. He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t enough. 

“-ony, you’re shaking, are you cold? Tony?” His head snapped up eyes wide and scared. He had forgotten he wasn’t alone. His brain wasn’t on right now, all he could think of was Phil and the fact that he somehow killed everyone who tried to take care of him. He was a very bad Little. Bad bad bad. 

Tony stared at the man in front of him. He knew who he was, what he had said to Tony in the lab. So why was he still here? Why did he care that Tony was crying? Grown-ups didn’t care if he was crying, as long as he stayed quiet. 

“Of course I care, you’re my teammate.” Tony realized he had said all of that out loud. Steve was sitting down on the floor in front of him, his blue eyes concerned as he looked at him. 

Tony took him in, the blue clothes and bright red boots. “You’re Captain ‘merica.”

Steve hesitated. “Yes…”

He frowned as he spoke, “I thought you were ‘apposed to save everybody. So how come Phil is gone?” Steve sucked in a sharp breath, staring at him. 

“I-I...sometimes even Captain America isn’t fast enough...I’m human Tony,” he said quietly, now looking sad. He seemed to curl in on himself, his giant frame somehow becoming smaller. 

Tony had made him sad. Tony made everyone sad. Bad bad bad. 

“I also...I also not saved him,” he whispered. 

Steve looked at him a sad smile on his face, “I guess we both were too slow huh?” 

Tony nodded, feeling the lump in throat grow. Even Captain America thought he was too slow. 

“Hey, wait please don’t cry.” 

Tony shook his head, tears running down his cheeks, “not.” 

“You’re not crying? Tony I can see the tears. I’m not mad, please-”

“Not!” he screamed in his face. “M’not, m’not m’not,” the last one ended with a sob as his face crumpled. Before he could protest, Steve pulled him closer and awkwardly hugged him while still sitting. His big arms around Tony’s smaller frame, holding him close. He let Steve hug him, his own arms limp at his sides. When his crying didn’t let up, Steve began to gently rock him and whisper ‘shhh’ as he did. Finally, after a few minutes, his sniffling died down. 

“It’s not your fault Tony. It’s not my fault either. Sometimes bad things happen, and we can’t do anything about them.” Steve whispered, still rocking them. 

Tony remained quiet, not quite trusting himself to speak. 

Once his head had cleared a little, shame filled him. He had broken down in front of Rogers and now he for sure knew his secret. Tony’s stomach roiled at the thought. What if he told everyone else? Would he still let Tony be on the team? He shifted away from the hug, his cheeks burning. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice hoarse from crying. 

“There's nothing to be sorry for. Would you believe that’s been my first hug in nearly seventy years?” he chuckled quietly still holding Tony loosely. 

“Feels like its mine too.” Tony looked up and gave him a watery smile. They were silent for a few minutes neither man sure what to say. 

Steve shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Look, Tony, we don’t have to talk about it-” 

“Then don't,” Tony said, pushing away and standing on shaky legs. He wiped the last of his tears away with sleeve. He was still in between headspaces, but he wasn’t nearly as low as he had just been. He could feel the fear and horror of what he had said and done creeping up on him. Steve wasn’t an idiot he had clearly figured it out. 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” 

“It doesn’t matter, either way, drop it.” Tony snapped starting to walk away. 

Steve caught up to him in a heartbeat placing himself between Tony and the door. “Fine, let’s say I ignore what just happened. Let’s say I keep my mouth shut about what I know and not tell Fury. Let’s say I pretend that you going into battle in a robotic highly dangerous suit after that is perfectly fine.” 

“It is.” He growled lowly. 

“What's our next move, huh? We’ve lost half our team, we lost Loki and have no leads. Come on,  _ genius _ , what’s our next move?” 

“You don’t know  _ anything- _ !”

“I may be stuck in the past, but I at least know that what just happened was not healthy. No one in your...condition should be under that kind of stress with no outlet. You need serious help and fighting in an alien war will only make it worse!”

“Like hell, you know anything about me, Rogers. I’m fine.” 

Steve snorted, a sneer curling over his lips. “Clearly. From the way you reacted I thought it had been your first time losing a soldier but obviously-”

“ **We are not soldiers!** ” he snapped, his eyes wide and furious. 

“You’re right.  _ You _ , are not a soldier. You’re a civilian, an untrained civilian and on top of that you’re a Li-”

Tony put up a hand to stop the tirade, his brain jumping from piece to piece. “Wait, shut up.”

Steam practically came out of the captain's ears, his eyes blazing. “Don’t-”

Tony shook his head fitting it all together. He began to pace, all of the pieces fitting neatly into place in front of him. “No. I got it. I figured it out.” 

Rogers looked skeptical, “Got what?” 

“Loki hit us right in the heart. He wanted it to hurt. That is the point. That’s Loki’s point. He hit us all right where we live. Why?”

Tony could practically see him switching gears and the effort it took to drop their argument. “To tear us apart.” 

 “Yeah, divide and conquer is great but- he knows he has to take us, yes,  _ us _ out to win, right?” Tony glared at him daring him to contradict him. “That’s what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience.”

“Right. I caught his act in Stuttgart.”

“Yeah. That’s just previews, this is- this is opening night. And Loki, he’s a full-tail diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered...Son-of-a-bitch.”

Steve raised his eyebrows at him clearly disapproving of his language. Tony rolled his eyes and nearly ran out of the room. He had a villain to catch, it also didn’t hurt that it got him out of his ‘talk’ with Rogers. 

  
  



	14. There's Perplexity Here

Steve wandered down the hallways, his thoughts scrambling around in his head, trying to make sense of what he had learned. 

Tony Stark is a Little. 

Tony  _ Stark  _ is a Little. 

_ Tony Stark  _ is a Little. 

_ Tony Stark is a Little.  _

It wasn’t quite clicking together in his head. Howard's son was a Little. How could he be a Little? The files he had been given on Stark portrayed him as anything but. The state testing had come out positive on Neutral, he had seen it in Stark's file. Stark had been fooling the entire world for thirty years. SHIELD was supposedly the best intelligence organization earth had, and yet they didn’t know that one of their employees was a Little? Someone had to be lying to him. Why would they hide intel about the team from its leader? Especially such important information? 

Steve was so distracted he nearly walked into a wall but jerked back before he gave himself an unneeded nose job. He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. He had so many things to be worried about right now, and he needed to focus on Loki. He and Stark had come up with a bit of dodgy plan, but it was all they had. 

Who did Stark have? Did anyone other than Steve know what the was? If Steve was the only one, then Stark had no caregiver. His heart clenched at the thought. Obviously Stark hadn’t been in full headspace when Steve had seen him, but the fact that he broke down like that told Steve all he needed to know. He fell into a young headspace and no one knew. 

Did Natasha know? She would have told him, right? Had Phil known? Is that why he spent so much time with Stark? It clicked in Steve's head. Phil had known. He had been the one taking care of Tony. What about Clint? Was it called cheating if there was no sex involved?

He entered the room where he had left his suit, quickly pulling it on. Tony had already left, hoping to catch Loki before he did something irreversible, while Steve tried to get as many members of the team together as he could. 

Should Steve have let him go? The footage of Stark fighting was impressive, clearly, the guy knew how to handle himself in combat. But...he was a Little and had just had a major breakdown over the death of someone he loved. Should he even let Iron Man stay on the team? Clint was on the team, but Clint wasn’t a baby and he had been trained for years. Tony wasn’t trained in anything except boxing. Before the ice, Littles were coddled and cherished never allowed to do anything that might get them hurt. Their minds weren’t cut out for it. Today the world was so different. Littles were allowed to work and leave the house alone. At least they weren’t allowed to drive. 

Did he want another Little to worry about on the team? 

How young was Stark in headspace? Clearly, he was on the younger side of the spectrum. 

Who took care of him? Steve abruptly stopped mid-stride. He needed to stop these thoughts. Whether Stark was a baby or a teenager didn’t matter, he wasn’t his. He needed to stay in his court. 

Steve began walking again, trying to block any thoughts of a Little Tony and how lonely he must be without a caregiver. As he passed by a door he heard Natasha's voice and peered in.

She was curled up on the bed, her armour still on. Her eyes were a bit too shiny, but he didn’t comment on it. Catching her eye, he nodded. “Time to go.”

Natasha glances at the closed door behind her. “Go where?”   
“I’ll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those jets?” he asked.

Before she could answer, the door behind her opened, and Clint stepped out. His eyes were red and swollen tears still slid down his cheeks. His eyes widened as they landed on Steve. Steve stared in bewilderment. How had Clint come back? “Clint?” 

He ran to Steve, letting out a sob as Steve scooped him up, crushing Clint to his chest. “I’m so sorry Clint. I’m so so sorry,” he whispered rocking the boy gently. 

“Daddy” Clint sobbed into his shoulder, his voice cracking. “I want Daddy, Steve, please.” 

Steve met Natasha's eyes over Clint's head. He had no idea how to make him feel better. He had been brainwashed by Loki and woken up, only to find out his Daddy had been murdered. 

“He loved you so much, Clint.” Natasha said quietly, coming closer to rub his back. Clint continued to cry loudly, begging both Steve and Natasha to save 'Daddy'.

Steve let him cry himself out, rocking him all the while. He barely held back his own tears, his heartbreaking for Clint. There was so much they needed to figure out, but that had to wait for now. 

When nearly a half hour had passed Clint began to sniffle quietly. Steve sat down on the bed in the room, keeping Clint in his lap. 

He knew that Clint needed to be cuddled and loved right now, however they had made a plan and he needed to stick to it. They were running out of time. “Clint, honey I know you’re really sad right now, but I need you to be a brave boy for me okay?” 

Clint wiped his nose on his arm letting out a shuddering breath. “I be b’ave, just like Daddy.” 

“That’s right Clint, your Daddy was so brave,” Steve said, wiping away some of Clint’s tears with a thumb. “I need to leave now with Natasha. You can stay here and I will find someone to be with you or you can come with us, but you need to be big if you come with us okay? It’s too dangerous for you to be Little there. I’ll give you some time to think about it.” Steve rubbed his back as he let him think.

After a few minutes, Clint quietly said, “I’m going to be big. And I’m going to kick Loki’s butt.” 

Steve gave him one last hug, knowing how hard that decision must have been. “Okay, buddy, good job taking your time and thinking. Natasha and I will give you a minute to age up, while we wait outside alright?” 

Clint nodded, sliding off of Steve's lap and going back into the bathroom. 

“We need to keep an eye on him,” Natasha said as soon as the door was closed. 

“I know...but we also need to trust that he is responsible enough to let us know if he can’t handle it.” 

Natasha appraised him a slight spark in her eye as if she knew Steve wasn’t only talking about Clint.

“Of course.” 

…………………..

Being blasted through a building was a new one for Tony. The suit crashed into the pavement jarring his already sore midsection. Before he could stand, Chitari were surrounding him blasting the suit from all sides. He shielded his head with a hand, waiting for an opening to blast them. The opening never came. Thor landed beside him and blasted them away with a bolt of lightning, sending them all shrieking. 

At that moment, Tony decided that fighting alongside everyone was not unpleasant. It was kind of nice to be able to rely on someone to have your back. 

…………………..

Fighting with a team was nothing new for Steve, it was the team that was new. He found that Natasha had his six, constantly watching his back for him. He couldn’t help but think of Bucky, constantly saving him from attacks from behind. Tony was really a sight to behold in battle. The suit was astounding, firing off blasts without a second to recalibrate, flying through the air and taking down handfuls of Chitari in seconds. 

………………….

“I can close it. Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down!” Natasha says through the coms. 

Leave it to SHIELD to screw everything up just as soon as they start winning. 

“Do it!” Steve yells, whipping the shield out like a frisbee. 

“No wait,” Tony says flying towards the bomb. 

“Stark, these things are still coming!” 

_  Gee thanks captain obvious _ , Tony thought, rolling his eyes. “I got a nuke coming in, it’s gonna blow in less than a minute.” Tony grabs the rocket gripping it between the gauntlets and forcing it to fly in the direction he wanted. “And I know just where to put it.”

“Stark, you know that’s a one-way trip,” Steve said through the coms. Tony ignored him, knowing that if he acknowledged this, it will only make it worse. 

“Save the rest for the turn J.” 

“Sir, shall I try Colonel Rhodes?”

His sigh was inaudible. “Might as well.”

The ringing was all Tony could hear. Although if he was honest with himself, he could hear the suit struggling to guide the rocket up instead of down. He could hear the roar of the rockets engine fighting him every step. He could hear his shaky breathing. 

He was almost there, the empty black hole in the sky expanding the closer he got to it. He had three seconds to make it before millions died. 

Two seconds. He was almost there just a few more feet. 

One Sec- He had made it. 

He let it go as he crossed over. The blackness of outer space enveloped him, taking all light with it. He felt like he was deep underwater again, his oxygen forcibly taken from him. He was choking on it. 

Rhodey hadn’t answered. He was alone. 

He watched with wet eyes as the Chiatari were destroyed, the mother ship exploding and taking all of its horrible aliens with it. 

He closed his eyes. He was done. 

………………..

Steve watched his heart pounding. Why wasn’t he coming back out? He heard Natasha speak on the comms. He ignored her. He only had eyes for Stark or lack of. He had to come back out. 

He needed to. Please. 

 He should have never been out here in the first place. This was Steve's fault. He had killed another good man. 

He held his breath as he gave the order to close it, unable to watch anymore. 

He bowed his head. He was never good enough. Then Thor chuckled quietly next to him, Steve's head shot up hoping- 

Stark! He had made it. “Son of a gun.” he murmured, happier than he had been since before the ice. He smiled, watching Starks descent. As he watched he slowly realized it wasn’t so much as a descent it was more of a freestyle fall. 

“He’s not slowing down,” Thor said as he started swinging his hammer. Before Thor could get him, Hulk lunged for Stark catching him in midair and landing back down, cradling the suit to his chest. 

Hulk unceremoniously shoved the suit off him and grunted as he stepped away.

Steve and Thor ran to him Steve knelt down as Thor ripped off the faceplate. Putting his ear to Tony’s chest, he listened for a heartbeat. There was none. Steve sat back, his mouth pulling down as he fought a scream. He had done this. 

Thor stayed silent next to him, watching with wary eyes. Hulk grunted again, clearly waiting for Stark to move. When he didn’t Hulk sucked in a breath of air and then roared at Tony, his giant fists clenching. 

Tony startled awake, the blue circle in his chest light up. He looked around wildly, his eyes terrified as they landed on Steve. 

Steve gave him a reassuring smile. Stark stared at him for a frozen second. “What happened?” 

Steve smiled again. “We won.” 

Tony started waving one hand around as he babbled about getting food and taking a day off. Steve watched him, his heart squeezing in his chest. He hadn’t failed after all. 

  
  



	15. Slip N' Slide

Giving the cube to Shield was Tony's least favourite plan, but he had been outvoted by everyone on the team except Bruce, who had also thought it would be smart to run a few tests on the Tesseract and see what it was really capable of. They had fought over it for nearly twenty minutes before the Captain had put his red, white, and blue foot down. His word was taken as gospel, and now here they were, returning the damn thing before Tony could so much as poke it. 

Shield was crawling with agents as they exited the elevator. Tony tried not to roll his eyes as he and the team were surrounded on all sides.

Tony swung the case containing the Tesseract as he walked alongside the team. They had all been examined after the battle; everyone given a mostly clean bill of health. Tony had bruised a few ribs and torn a muscle in his leg, but otherwise, he was fine. Although he found that, with every step he took, that was proving to be less and less true. His vision was started to waver, his eyes unfocusing the more he tried to get them to sharpen. 

Alexander Pierce steadied him as his knees buckled. Tony let out a gasping breath as his heart constricted in his chest. He could feel the cold seeping into him, the blackness swirling around the edges of his vision. He dropped the silver case as his hand flew to his chest. 

He needed to get out of here, now. 

He had known it was coming, but he had thought he had at least another week. His body had clearly reached its limit. He was going to drop into headspace in front of all these people. 

He felt more hands try to steady him as they lowered him to the ground. His heartfelt like it was trying to beat out of his chest. The multiple pairs of hands-on him were making his stomach roil. 

He wouldn't help them. He couldn't. His tongue tasted like sand and gunpowder. It was too hot. Too small. He needed to escape. He would die before helping them. 

Suddenly all the hands were gone. He looked up into the face of Captain America. Why was Captain America in the desert? 

"Tony, I need you to focus on me, okay?" Tony tried to respond, but his tongue was too heavy, everything was too heavy. 

Cap turned away and spoke to the people crowded around them. His words floated in and out of Tony's brain, not making any sense to him. 

"Reactor...malfunction...heart…"

Maybe he was speaking a different language. What languages did he speak? Perhaps he spoke all of them. How many languages are there? 

Steve came back. He reached out a hand, but Tony could only stare at it. What was he supposed to do with his hand? Tony watched him as if from far away. Steve helped him stand, allowing Tony to rest his weight on him. He let Cap maneuver them away from the crowd, his legs refusing to hold his weight. 

They entered what seemed to be an enormous supply closet. Steve set Tony down gently, leaning against the closed door for support. He kneeled down next to Tony, his face the only part of his body not covered in uniform. 

Did the mask bother him? What if he was itchy? Did it mess up his hair?

Tony opened his mouth to ask, but he was cut short, 

"How are you feeling?"

He didn't know how to answer that. His mouth no longer tasted like sand and ash, but he couldn't entirely focus, and his hearing was kind of muffled. His head felt like it was full of cotton. 

He shook his head no. 

Steve gave him a sad smile, "Do you remember who I am, Tony?"

"C-cap'n ' merica?" 

"Good job Tony, you can call me Steve. Is it okay if I sit with you for a bit?" Steve asked. 

Tony nodded, scooching over to make some room on the floor. 

They sat in silence for a long time. Tony's thoughts floating around, but none of them quite clear enough for him to focus on. 

"That must have been pretty scary for you back there." 

Tony shrugged, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Is there anyone I can call to come to help you?"

Tony shook his head again. Rhodey and Pepper were out of the country, and Happy would only draw too much attention. 

"Does anyone else know?" Steve asked quietly, glancing at him. 

"A-agen'" his voice cracked as he whispered. "Natasha an' Fury." 

"She knows? Fury knows?" 

Tony nodded miserably. Steve looked mad. He was going to leave, and then Tony would all by himself. He didn't want to be all by himself. 

"Bu' To-I can be big." he whispered, not quite believing it himself. 

Steve shook his head, turning to his body to face him. "How long has it been? A month? More?" Steve's eyes went wide when Tony wouldn't quite meet his eye. "Tony, you could be hospitalized! How can this have happened?" 

Something in Tony broke. "Maybe because not everyone has a picture-perfect life, Steve! Not everyone gets what they want or even need! So just drop it okay just back off. I'm doing fine on my own." 

"Yeah, doing fine? Having a breakdown in Shield headquarters is fine to you? Having to be practically carried out of the room is okay?"

Tony looked away from him, not wanting Steve to see the tears in his eyes. He wasn't okay. "Just...go, Steve." 

Tony couldn't see him, but he heard him get to his feet, slamming the door on his way out. 

  
  



	16. Rumour Has It

Hello! I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for your lovely comments and kudos!! And of course, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! 

I'm so sorry updating has been getting so few and far between I'm in university, and the homework is killing me. :( 

Anyway, I wasn't planning on having a legit plot in this, but I'm finding myself wanting one, would that be something people are into? Or would you rather this just be a slow burn ageplay fic? 

Please let me know! 

 

Steve slammed the door as he left, stomping down the hall, away from Tony. Steam could be pouring out of his ears from the way Tony made him

feel. He was so cocky and self-sure he couldn't even acknowledge the fact that he needed help. Well, fine then. Steve wouldn't help him. He knew

that he was being a hypocrite. Steve hated asking for help especially from someone he wouldn’t perceive as a friend. However, Tony was just

being stupid at this point. Did he not know what kind of damage he was causing himself? 

 

_"Get off it, Steve, I'm fine," Bucky said, shoving Steve away from the mess on his leg. Bucky was lying on the pavement, pants torn from his fall._

_Steve stepped back, his face clouding over. "You only got hurt 'cause I couldn't keep my mouth shut, at least let me help you." He glanced around the empty alleyway, and the jerk had run for it once he had gotten Bucky down._

_"Well, someone had to save your scrawny ass." Bucky joked, trying to wipe some of the blood off with his torn pant leg. His knee had taken the brunt of his fall, the concrete shredding his skin._

_Steve was silent, watching his friend try - and fail- to wipe the blood away. "Why do you gotta always- you know what nevermind, let's just get home Buck."_

_Bucky pushed himself up, now standing over Steve. "No, what were you going to say? Come on, say it."_

_"Just leave it, I wanna get out of here." Steve began walking away. Bucky caught him on the shoulder, urging him to turn around._

_Bucky rolled his eyes, "Tell me. I just got my ass kicked for you, tell me."_

_"Don't do that."_

_"Do what?"_

_"Act like I'm some, some...dame who always needs you to save me. Cause I'm not Buck, I'm just as much of a man as you are." Steve said, squaring his shoulders._

_"Yeah I know but-"_

_"No, see that's the problem, there shouldn't be a but you need to stop treating me like I'm a little kid bucky. I'm not your little!" Steve yelled._

_Bucky nearly growled as he answered, "I never said you were, Stevie come on-"_

_"Well, you sure do act like it! I'm sick of it. I don't need your help. Stop trying to help me, Buck. I'm fine."_

_Bucky looked like he wanted to hit him. "No, you're not! You go around getting into more fights than a drunk. I know you're hurting inside Steve. I see you watching me an' Gail. You'll find a little I know it."_

_"Stop placating me! You don't know what it's like so stop pretending to-"_

_"I don't know? It's not like I've lived with you for years, Steve, watching you curl into yourself? No not me. Not me who can hear you at night, Steve! I hear you crying through the wall, why don't you talk to me? You think in that big head of yours that you need to do everything alone."_

_"I don't- You know what nevermind. I'll see you later."_

_The young men stared at each other. Steve shook his head, glaring at Bucky as he stalked off._

 

Steve sighed as he walked through the building. He couldn’t blame Tony for hating him. They had been at each other’s throats since they met.

How could he expect the man to share the most vulnerable part of himself with a man who had pointed out all of his flaws? 

He had reached the hospital wing; his feet had carried him there without his consent. The white walls and floors were making him slightly

nauseous, bringing him back to when he had first woken up out of the ice. He turned to leave when a low voice caught his attention. 

"- need to tell him. Nick. please." 

There was a short pause then, "Its not part of the plan-"

"My priority will always be him, and you know that I'm going to find a way." 

"Give them a month. This operation-"

"I won't even give them a week if I get my way." 

"Coulson-"

Steve tried to get closer to see if what he was hearing could be true. He slipped behind a nurse's cart, crouching low as not to be seen. Waiting a

minute until they started talking again, Steve peeked out from behind the cart. Fury was standing next to a hospital bed, Steve was too low to see

who was in bed, but he could hear Phil Coulson's tired voice when he spoke. 

"Nick." Coulson said softly. They must have been having one of their eye conversations because nobody said anything for the next few minutes. 

"The Council will have my ass if I let you go. They made it very clear who calls the shots after I pulled that stunt with Stark."

"So leave, I'll get out on my own."

"You can't even hold up a gun right now don't give me that shit,"

Steve walked into the room, neither man looking particularly surprised by his eavesdropping. "I can help." 

Phil Coulson lay in the bed, his skin nearly transparent. His left side was covered in thick bandages making his left arm useless. His other hand

shook when he moved as if it took all of his energy to move just his fingers. 

Fury made a shooing motion at Steve barley, acknowledging his presence. "Captain, this doesn't concern you."

Steve ignored it, "With all due respect, Director Fury it does. Both Phil and Clint are my friends." 

"This is bigger than playing happy family-"

"He can be our get out of jail free card." Phil rasped. 

"What?"

"By a seemingly random set of events, he could end up in my room and help me leave without having been told not too."

Fury stared at him, "you make me laugh." He said without smiling. 

……………………………

Tony stared around at the supply closet. He needed to get out of here, but he also knew it wasn't safe for him. He was just barely holding onto

some semblance of his big headspace, and having to interact with anyone would shatter it. He rubbed at his burning eyes; he was so tired. 

He leaned his head against the wall behind him. He needed help. He knew he did, and yet the thought of letting someone see him made his

stomach roil. How could he let someone care for him when he was at his smallest? He was so easy to take advantage of when he was like this. He

couldn't. Obie flashed before his eyes. He could never allow anything like that to happen again. It wasn't worth the comfort of having a caregiver.

He sighed quietly to himself, wishing he was at home with Samuel. 

"Sir, my cameras have picked up something you will want to see." 

He sat up slowly, careful of his sore body, "pull it up, J."

  
  



End file.
